Cherry Dr. Pepper rocks!

As huge fans of all things new in the world of junk food, Christine and I were thrilled to learn that Dr. Pepper — always the classiest of the soft drinks in my book, I mean, hello, the dude’s a doctor! — was improving on a classic with the introduction of Cherry Dr. Pepper.

And yes, it’s as freaking awesome as it sounds. No, I take that back, this drink is ten billion times better than it sounds. Really, truly, this is the flavored soda pop we’ve all been waiting for. Well, at least at our house.

Christine has been a “pepper” since she was a kid and you know I loves me some cherry-flavored shit, so buying a twelve pack of Cherry Dr. Pepper the moment it was released was kind of a no-brainer. And though it tastes amazing on its own, this beauty of a soft drink also makes spectacular ice cream floats.

Even Ryan and Laura (who are no fans of soda to begin with) were left breathless in the wake of this gorgeous, surprisingly subtle concoction. We had a little tasting party at their house the other night and they asked us to leave the unopened cans with them when we went home. Yep, it’s that good!

So, if you’re in the market for a tasty-ass caffeinated beverage this summer, skip the sickly-sweet Starbucks Doubleshot Coffee + Energy and pick yourself up some of this nectar of the gods. Seriously, all punning aside, it’s just what the doctor ordered…delicious!

Starbucks Doubleshot Coffee + Energy

OK, I have had some seriously bad coffee on road trips over the years, but never in my life as a coffee drinker have I had anything as strangely disgusting as the latest Starbucks canned coffee beverage…the Doubleshot Energy + Coffee. Yikes!

It was late Wednesday night, the day before Thanksgiving and after crawling up Highway 5 from Los Angeles, we stopped for gas as we always do at our favorite truck stop/gas station in Gustine. Knowing that we might hit more horrendous traffic over Hecker Pass and beyond on our last leg to Santa Cruz, I decided I’d better caffeine it up a bit.

So, rather than get some of the truck stop’s notoriously awful hot coffee, I opted for a Starbucks canned coffee instead. Normally I would get the Starbucks Doubleshot, which is very small and very expensive — I’ve seen it for as much as $3.99 in some places! — but totally worth the price, because aside from giving you just the right jolt, that shit is pretty tasty.

However, this time I saw something new in that refrigerated section…shiny, gigantic cans of something called Starbucks Doubleshot Energy + Coffee. It even came in three flavors: Mocha, Coffee, and Vanilla. Cool! Twice the size of the traditional Doubleshot and fifty cents cheaper with Guarana, Ginseng and B Vitamins to boot, how could I not try this thing? So, I grabbed myself a Coffee flavored can of Energy + Coffee goodness and headed to the register. And that, amigos, was my first deadly mistake…

This drink was bad. Really, really bad. I’m not a fan of energy drinks in general and this crap tasted like the worst energy drink you ever had combined with the worst day-old coffee you ever had and a buttload of sugar. Seriously, I gagged on my first sip…it was hideous.

Of course, having already slapped down my cold hard cash, I drank the whole thing. Yes, I am that cheap, and after almost eight hours on the road, I needed a pick-me up regardless of the taste. So, what are you gonna do?

In hindsight, what I should have done was stopped drinking immediately. By my third sip I had the rumblings of some serious coffee stomach, and by the time we reached Gilroy a half hour or so later, I felt like my heart was gonna explode. It didn’t help that Christine kept laughing at me for cheaping out and going large instead of sticking to a drink I knew and trusted. Urgh…what a disaster.

So, I guess the moral of the story is to stick with what you know on road trips, and for the love of God, stear clear of this toxic Starbucks concoction! Yuck…