“American Idol” reaches a new low…

First “American Idol” producers refused to do right by their long-suffering workers by going union, then they dumped Paula Abdul when she asked for like, a third of what Seacrest makes, and now, “Idol” producers have made the biggest mistake of all by hiring Ellen Degeneres as the fourth judge.

I mean, really? Ellen?! What was Tyra too busy running her media empire to take the gig? Jeez, what the hell does a self-absorbed union-busting scab like Ellen know about judging singing competitions? And if America thought Paula was too nice to the contestants, just imagine how much the “queen of nice” will pander to the worst singers in the bunch?

Urgh..if I wanted to see Ellen’s manufactured brand of “aw shucks folks” sweetness I’d watch her daytime show. The fact that she’ll be inflicted on my “Idol” viewing time each week might just be enough to break me of my “Idol” habit for good. On the upside, not watching “Idol” will free up a lot of Tivo time come January…so, hmmm…maybe I should be thanking Ellen.

Nah, I still hate her phony ass…

Paula Abdul quits “American Idol”

According to the Los Angeles Times (and her own rambling Twitter feed) Paula Abdul announced this evening that she is not, I repeat, not returning to “American Idol” next season. Whoa…big mistake, FOX! I mean, love her or hate her, losing Paula is the beginning of the end for “Idol” in my book.

Sure, Abdul is straight-up insane most of the time, and her comments as a judge literally make no sense, but I firmly believe that Paula’s brand of Coked-out crazy is a vital component of “American Idol’s” success. And with “Idol” glut sullying the pop landscape, does anyone really watch that show for the singing anymore? Hell, no! For me, “Idol” is and always will be, Simon, Paula and Randy talking trash. Oh, and Kara’s a’ight too.

I don’t know what the execs at FOX are smoking…but letting Paula slip away over money is just plain stupid. It’s even more insulting when you consider the fact that Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest just got gignormous raises. Cowell I understand…he is the show, but Seacrest? Please, anyone could do that job. And yeah, I’m talking to you, Brian Dunkleman!

But Paula’s brand of bat-shit crazy is one of a kind, man. You simply cannot replicate it, and all the new judges in the world won’t be able to replace the whacky little gem you’re losing today. So, for the love of all that is holy in reality TV, pay the woman what she wants and get Paula back to the “Idol” judging table where she belongs!

Long live Paula Abdul, and more importantly, long live the crazy!

The Chenbot is not amused…

By now you’ve probably all seen this year’s list of Emmy nominees — if you haven’t, you can download the full list of nominees here — overall, this year’s crop was a pretty decent bunch. Glad to see smaller basic cable shows like “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad” swing a few major nominations, but at our house, the news was all about who was not nominated.

And no, I’m not talking about the extremely talented cast and crew of “The Riches” or the writers of “Lost”, but rather, the elegant Chinese robot that is “Big Brother” host Julie “Chenbot” Chen.

With the announcement earlier this year that the TV Academy was adding a Best Reality Host category, we thought for sure our beloved Chenbot was a lock for a nomination. Of course, we expected to hear the names, Jeff Probst, Heidi Klum, and even cheesy old Ryan Seacrest…but what no one expected was to hear the next two names on the list: Howie Mandel and Tom Bergeron?!

Are you kidding me? Have you seen their shows? The best things on both “Deal Or No Deal” and “Dancing with the Stars” have absolutely nothing to do with those two ham-fisted windbags! I mean, really, take them out of the equation and the shows are just as good, or, you know…bad…without them.

But “Big Brother” without the Chenbot is just a bunch of crazy, white trash drunkards trapped in a house with cameras. Now, I’m not saying I wouldn’t watch that show too, but a huge part of what makes “Big Brother” so awesomely watchable is that cool, shiny-haired Chenbot!

So…any way you look at it, our girl got straight-up robbed this week, yo!

I guess our only consolation is that the tenth season — yeah I said tenth, you got a problem with that Emmy voters?! — of “Big Brother” started last week, so that gives us all summer long to enjoy the strangely lifelike beauty of our favorite Chinese robot! And better yet, the show airs three nights a week…yah!

Emmy or not, long live the Chenbot!