Tag Archives: Ryan Reynolds

Scarlett Johanssen breaks my heart…

I know she’s been engaged to actor Ryan Reynolds for a while now — and I am kinda married and everything, so I totally shouldn’t care — but I was still sad/surprised to hear that one of our favorite actresses, Scarlett “Scarjo” Johanssen got secretly hitched this weekend in Canada. Just kidding about the sad part…um, kinda.

Seriously though, secretly doing anything in this TMZ world is a big deal, so, kudos on hiding that shit from the media, Scarjo! And congrats on marrying Reynolds too. The dude has done some really good stuff in some really bad movies, but Christine and I still totally dig him. So, rock on, happy couple!

And live it up while you can, amigos, cause you just know my girl Alanis (Reynold’s jilted ex-fiancĂ©e) is in a dark room somewhere totally writing a mean-ass song about you guys…

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