“Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution” starts tomorrow on ABC

OK, I know it’s a whole day away, but, we are so excited about the season two premiere of “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution” tomorrow night on ABC that we just had to blog about it today…er, well…tonight. In any case, now you have a full day’s notice to set your Tivo’s!

And, trust me, you’re gonna wanna them set for this. Because, from the trailers we’ve seen, Tivo-worthy is the name of the game this season on “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution”. I mean, seriously, if you thought those mean old lunch ladies in West Virginia were hard core, just wait till you see Jamie facing off with the shriveled old coots on the L.A. Unified Board of Education. Yikes!

Yep, you read that correctly, this season’s “Food Revolution” is set right here in sunny SoCal, or at least it was until Jamie and company had their permits pulled mid-shoot. The Board also banned “Food Revolution” camera crews from shooting at all public school campuses in Los Angeles to boot! See, I told you this season would be juicy!

So, set your Tivo’s, whip up a healthy snack and tuck on in, because “Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution” is taking flight tomorrow on ABC!

“The Sing Off” returns!

OK, how rad was the season-two premiere of “The Sing Off” on NBC last night?

So totally radical that Christine — who was dead-tired after helping me finish the Christmas decorating — stayed up till almost 1:00AM to watch the two-hour season premiere in its tune-filled entirety. Yep, it was that good!

No worries if you missed the first episode (the eliminated groups weren’t that great anyway) but if you love that fake-ass, studio-recorded stuff they do on “Glee” then you’ll really love watching the real thing done right in front of a live studio audience. Holy crap, some of these guys are ah-mazing!

So, please, please, do yourself a favor and check out the rest of the very short season of “The Sing Off” on NBC. And for the love of God, pray that those goofy stoners from the University of Oregon in Eugene sing at least one more Lady Gaga song before they get voted off, that shit was off the hook! WOW!

“Skating with the Stars”

Holy crap! Did anyone else watch this televised insanity last night? Man, if my Mother-in-Law hadn’t strong-armed us into watching part one of the season finale of “Dancing with the Stars” — a show neither Christine or I have ever watched willingly — we would probably have missed it entirely.

But, thanks to Marge, we totally watched the premiere episode of “Skating with the Stars” and, Lord in heaven, I want my hour back.

Seriously, that shit was so crazy! No offense to the sexiest damn replicant in the “Blade Runner” universe, but, when Sean Young is your biggest name star, you know you don’t have any stars. Yikes! And the still-sexy Miss Young tried her damndest, but, wow, bitch could not skate to save her life!

Even Olympic Gold Medalist Jonny Mosely sucked. Sure, he won his gold for skiing, but, still, you’d think he’d have some basic skating skills. Sadly, he didn’t.

The rest of the nobody’s…ahem…”stars”, were fine-to-decent skaters — except for reality show super-bitch Bethenny Frankel, who kinda rocked! — but the highlight of the night was when middle judge and resident super freak, Johnny Weir, inexplicably skated for the crowd.

It was so weird, they just came back from the break and announced that now, Johnny Weir would be skating. Huh? What about the next couple? And how did Johnny change into that strange outfit and frost his tips red so quickly? It was very confusing, amigos.

And the song the Weird One skated to? Wait for it…Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”. Ha! Perfection! Instantly, the show went from plain-old bad TV to totally-surreal Mexican variety show. So awesomely bad! Wow…it’s almost enough to make me wanna watch next week. Almost…

Anybody else watch this craziness? If so, what’d you think?

“American Idol” reaches a new low…

First “American Idol” producers refused to do right by their long-suffering workers by going union, then they dumped Paula Abdul when she asked for like, a third of what Seacrest makes, and now, “Idol” producers have made the biggest mistake of all by hiring Ellen Degeneres as the fourth judge.

I mean, really? Ellen?! What was Tyra too busy running her media empire to take the gig? Jeez, what the hell does a self-absorbed union-busting scab like Ellen know about judging singing competitions? And if America thought Paula was too nice to the contestants, just imagine how much the “queen of nice” will pander to the worst singers in the bunch?

Urgh..if I wanted to see Ellen’s manufactured brand of “aw shucks folks” sweetness I’d watch her daytime show. The fact that she’ll be inflicted on my “Idol” viewing time each week might just be enough to break me of my “Idol” habit for good. On the upside, not watching “Idol” will free up a lot of Tivo time come January…so, hmmm…maybe I should be thanking Ellen.

Nah, I still hate her phony ass…

Paula Abdul quits “American Idol”

According to the Los Angeles Times (and her own rambling Twitter feed) Paula Abdul announced this evening that she is not, I repeat, not returning to “American Idol” next season. Whoa…big mistake, FOX! I mean, love her or hate her, losing Paula is the beginning of the end for “Idol” in my book.

Sure, Abdul is straight-up insane most of the time, and her comments as a judge literally make no sense, but I firmly believe that Paula’s brand of Coked-out crazy is a vital component of “American Idol’s” success. And with “Idol” glut sullying the pop landscape, does anyone really watch that show for the singing anymore? Hell, no! For me, “Idol” is and always will be, Simon, Paula and Randy talking trash. Oh, and Kara’s a’ight too.

I don’t know what the execs at FOX are smoking…but letting Paula slip away over money is just plain stupid. It’s even more insulting when you consider the fact that Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest just got gignormous raises. Cowell I understand…he is the show, but Seacrest? Please, anyone could do that job. And yeah, I’m talking to you, Brian Dunkleman!

But Paula’s brand of bat-shit crazy is one of a kind, man. You simply cannot replicate it, and all the new judges in the world won’t be able to replace the whacky little gem you’re losing today. So, for the love of all that is holy in reality TV, pay the woman what she wants and get Paula back to the “Idol” judging table where she belongs!

Long live Paula Abdul, and more importantly, long live the crazy!

“Big Brother” starts tonight!

At first, Christine and I were just excited to see the pregnant Chenbot’s, um…Chenbump. But now, after totally nerding out and reading way too much about the show online just now, we are literally counting the hours till the 8:00PM debut of “Big Brother 11” tonight on CBS!

I don’t know about you guys, but, summer in our house is not complete without loads of snarky, half-naked hotties duking it out in a cool house full of cameras! And while this year’s crop of houseguests look pretty much like any other season, there are two key twists that might shake things up a bit.

One: the house will be divided into traditional high school cliques, geeks, brains, jocks, what have you. And two: there will be a 13th mystery houseguest who may (or may not) be recycled from a previous season. Awesome!! And recycling a houseguest is apparently just the beginning this year!

Jumping on the marketing bandwagon, the “BB 11” producers have decided to “go green” this season with loads of eco-friendly touches sprinkled throughout the house. Of course, once the “Big Brother” slop starts flying, who really cares where the power comes from, just keep those cameras rolling, baby!

Either way, kudos to “Big Brother” for rocking some pretty cool eco-friendly decor this year — I love that wall of recycled bottles, cans and cardboard and stuff below — and, as always, all hail the Chenbot!

The Chenbot is pregnant!

OK, I know this is kind of day old news, but Christine and I were thrilled to learn that our favorite reality show host of all time (sorry, Heidi) is pregnant. That’s right, amigos, Julie “Chenbot” Chen is with child! Yay!

Her amazingly-lifelike eyes aglow, the Chenbot announced the big news last week during her regular gig on The Early Show and said that even though she is due on October 4th, she will not miss a single episode of the upcoming season of “Big Brother”. Hooray! I mean, hello, “Big Brother” without the Chenbot is kinda like cake without frosting…it’s just not the same.

So, congrats to Chen and her husband, CBS cheiftan Les Moonves, on their pregnancy. And when can we pencil little Chenbot Jr. in for a play date with Greta and Petal Blossom Oliver? Those three would have a blast together. Um, provided little Chenbot has baby-safe wiring of course…

Mike White on “The Amazing Race”

Longtime fans already know this, but if you’re not watching “The Amazing Race” this season, here’s one more reason to watch…Mike-freaking-White! Yep, the man who wrote “Chuck & Buck”, “The Good Girl”, “School of Rock”, “Nacho Libre” and wrote and directed last year’s “The Year of the Dog” is now racing around the world with his gay Evangelical Christian father, Mel. Cool, huh?

Not only is White one of my favorite screenwriters, but he is also a very fine actor. Watching him hold his own with blowhards like Jack Black and Sarah Silverman in “Rock” is proof enough that the dude can act, but if you really wanna see his mad thespian skills at their finest, rent “The Good Girl” and “Chuck & Buck”.

White’s crazy-Christian store security guard in “The Good Girl” kills me every time…he’s awesome. And his creepy-funny stalker in “Chuck & Buck” will haunt you for days. Seriously, the dude is scary and hilarious, often at the same time.

And now, he’s teamed up with his equally-funny father, Mel, on one of our favorite shows ever. Even cooler is the news that as of last week, Mike and Mel were in first place on the race! Yay! Keep on trucking, guys, the screenwriters, and um, gay Evangelical Christians, of the world are rooting for ya!

Still going strong in its 14th season, “The Amazing Race” airs Sunday nights at 8:00PM, so, check it out. And if you haven’t seen any of White’s movies of TV shows — he also wrote for “Freaks and Geeks” and created the short-lived prime time soap “Pasadena” — for yourself, then, get thee to Netflicks, amigos…the dude is hilarious!

Earthquake night on “Big Brother”

Just finished watching tonight’s episode of “Big Brother” and all I can say is…wow. Not only did we get to see the houseguest’s stunned reactions to the earthquake we had down here on Tuesday, but we also got to see one of the strangest Head of Household competitions ever.

And for some totally wrong-headed reason the producers decided to end tonight’s episode with an earthquake-themed HOH competition.

Yep, you heard me, two days after the Los Angeles area was shaken by a 5.4 magnitude tremblor, “Big Brother” staged a mock earthquake as part of one of their competitions. Wow, man…that takes balls!

I’m sure they figured: “Hey, nobody died, it’s cool to have a little earthquake-tastic fun, right?” But man, talk about bad taste. After this week’s eviction — I won’t spoil it for you by telling you who got the boot — the houseguests lined up on the ledge of a two-story building facade in the backyard.

The rules were simple, whoever stays put on the ledge wins this week’s Head of Household. For you non-BB fans, that’s means you are immune from going home and actually in charge of nominating two people for eviction during your one week reign as HOH.

So, after the housequests took their places on the ledge, the entire facade began to slowly rotate forward, forcing them to hold on tight or risk falling off into the padded plastic mats below.

And then, the real shocker came when our beloved Chenbot — who I’m sure had nothing to do with this tasteless ratings ploy — uttered these immortal words: “You all felt the earthquake the other day, houseguests? Well, you should know, when there are earthquakes, there are always aftershocks!”

And then, to our horror, the building facade began to violently shake as sawdust rained down upon the startled housequests. I swear to God, Christine and I just paused the Tivo and stared at one another: “Um…are they really doing this?”

I mean, sure, no one died in Chino Hills, hell, nothing major even broke or crumbled, but still…an earthquake-themed HOH so soon after a real earthquake? Really?? What’s next, flaming wildfire competitions? Yikes…

And to make matters even worse, they ended the show without showing us the result of the competition! Which means we have to wait till freaking Sunday to see who won HOH! Argh!!

For shame, Chenbot, for shame…

The Chenbot is not amused…

By now you’ve probably all seen this year’s list of Emmy nominees — if you haven’t, you can download the full list of nominees here — overall, this year’s crop was a pretty decent bunch. Glad to see smaller basic cable shows like “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad” swing a few major nominations, but at our house, the news was all about who was not nominated.

And no, I’m not talking about the extremely talented cast and crew of “The Riches” or the writers of “Lost”, but rather, the elegant Chinese robot that is “Big Brother” host Julie “Chenbot” Chen.

With the announcement earlier this year that the TV Academy was adding a Best Reality Host category, we thought for sure our beloved Chenbot was a lock for a nomination. Of course, we expected to hear the names, Jeff Probst, Heidi Klum, and even cheesy old Ryan Seacrest…but what no one expected was to hear the next two names on the list: Howie Mandel and Tom Bergeron?!

Are you kidding me? Have you seen their shows? The best things on both “Deal Or No Deal” and “Dancing with the Stars” have absolutely nothing to do with those two ham-fisted windbags! I mean, really, take them out of the equation and the shows are just as good, or, you know…bad…without them.

But “Big Brother” without the Chenbot is just a bunch of crazy, white trash drunkards trapped in a house with cameras. Now, I’m not saying I wouldn’t watch that show too, but a huge part of what makes “Big Brother” so awesomely watchable is that cool, shiny-haired Chenbot!

So…any way you look at it, our girl got straight-up robbed this week, yo!

I guess our only consolation is that the tenth season — yeah I said tenth, you got a problem with that Emmy voters?! — of “Big Brother” started last week, so that gives us all summer long to enjoy the strangely lifelike beauty of our favorite Chinese robot! And better yet, the show airs three nights a week…yah!

Emmy or not, long live the Chenbot!