Kanye West: A-hole extraordinaire!

OK, normally MTV’s Video Music Awards are totally fast-forwardable. Overlong, boring and packed to the gills with live performances by people who Christine and I can’t stand — last year offered us the Jonas Brothers and Lil’ Wayne, nuff said — but as you can tell from my previous post, this year, the show was kind of insanely watchable. Emphasis on the insane!

Host Russell Brand was almost as cheeky and hilarious as he was last year, and the opening tribute to Michael Jackson was very cool, even if Madonna got a little Madge-centric sometimes in her speech. I mean, come on, your worst review for “Swept Away” was better than whole years of Jackson’s life, so, stop with the comparisons already…

But the real fireworks last night came when Kayne West interrupted Taylor Swift’s sweet-ass acceptance speech to tell the crowd that he thought Beyoncé should have won instead.

Yep, the man who famously said that George Bush hates black people and gets all bent out of shape when he doesn’t take home enough gold at award shows is judging the winners and losers in categories he’s not even eligible for! WTF?!

Sorry, dude, I’ve seen every video in that category and Taylor Swift’s was the best in the bunch. The song rocked, the video told a story (shocking, I know, in today’s boring-ass video age) and it looked great. What else is there?

And honestly, whether you liked her video or not, for you to interrupt Ms. Swift’s speech like that to tell the world that she didn’t deserve the award she’d just won was just plain shitty. And on live TV no less? Yikes, ain’t no half-ass apology gonna make up for that shit…

I mean, seriously, you can make fun of George Bush and you can act like an egotistical prick all you want, but you verbally beat down America’s Sweetheart on national TV…well, that shit’s gonna haunt you.

Have a nice life, a-hole!

My apologies to Lady Gaga…

Dear Lady Gaga,

I know that in the past I have disparaged you to no end in both my blog and in conversations with my friends and family, but after watching your totally bizarre, insanely awesome performance at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards, all I can say is…please forgive me. You seriously rock!

I don’t know if I understand everything you did last night onstage — the “Phantom of the Opera” stuff was cool, but you lost me with the crutches and wheelchair bit, and the blood-soaked ending was just plain crazy! — but anyone who can pull off totally bizarre, performance-arty shit like that with a straight face is cool in my book.

And though it was obscured by fur, feathers, a golden mask and bright red lace for most of the night, the earnest look on your face tells me that you are not just toying with us, but are, in fact, totally batshit crazy.

And for that, and so much more, I gotta tell ya, I kind of love you. So, please forgive me for anything bad I might have said or thought about you in the past. You truly are one fearlessly freaky lady and the music world is a better place because of it. Yep, I even like your music now too…crazy, huh?

Rock on Lady Gaga!

Your newest fan-

Yeti9000

AMtv rocks!

I know it seems like all we watch these days is MTV, but, well, it is kind of our first click on the remote when channel surfing, and we don’t get TCM or Bravo anymore…so, can you really blame us?

And while even the cheesiest of their shows are imminently watchable — “Parental Control” is a drug I cannot resist, and “16 and Pregnant” was downright Emmy-worthy, a seriously fantastic show! — I gotta say, like the rest of you, we’ve been missing the music videos big time.

Well, cheer up, amigos, because MTV has brought back music videos in the form of AMtv. Yep, you heard me, the music has returned to music television! Of course, as the name suggests, AMtv plays said music videos in the middle of the freaking night — from 3:00AM to 9:00AM Monday thru Thursday — so, actually watching them is a whole other issue.

But if you do find yourself awake, say, nursing, changing or bottle-feeding a four-month old, well, AMtv is the show for you, amigos! And lest you think Christine and I are the only crazy people watching music videos till dawn, MTV runs Pampers ads every half hour during the show, so you just know there are legions of other sleep-deprived parents doing the exact same thing.

So, on behalf of the bleary-eyed new parents of America, I want to be the first to say, thank you, MTV. Sure, every other video sucks — yes, Lady Gaga, I’m talking to you — but the fact that you give us scads of other cool current (and retro!) videos to fast-forward through and enjoy in the middle of the night seriously rocks our world. Que viva, la AMtv!

Oh yeah, and, trust me, you do not have to be a bleary-eyed new parent to love this show, so, Tivo away, my friends!