“Skating with the Stars”

Holy crap! Did anyone else watch this televised insanity last night? Man, if my Mother-in-Law hadn’t strong-armed us into watching part one of the season finale of “Dancing with the Stars” — a show neither Christine or I have ever watched willingly — we would probably have missed it entirely.

But, thanks to Marge, we totally watched the premiere episode of “Skating with the Stars” and, Lord in heaven, I want my hour back.

Seriously, that shit was so crazy! No offense to the sexiest damn replicant in the “Blade Runner” universe, but, when Sean Young is your biggest name star, you know you don’t have any stars. Yikes! And the still-sexy Miss Young tried her damndest, but, wow, bitch could not skate to save her life!

Even Olympic Gold Medalist Jonny Mosely sucked. Sure, he won his gold for skiing, but, still, you’d think he’d have some basic skating skills. Sadly, he didn’t.

The rest of the nobody’s…ahem…”stars”, were fine-to-decent skaters — except for reality show super-bitch Bethenny Frankel, who kinda rocked! — but the highlight of the night was when middle judge and resident super freak, Johnny Weir, inexplicably skated for the crowd.

It was so weird, they just came back from the break and announced that now, Johnny Weir would be skating. Huh? What about the next couple? And how did Johnny change into that strange outfit and frost his tips red so quickly? It was very confusing, amigos.

And the song the Weird One skated to? Wait for it…Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face”. Ha! Perfection! Instantly, the show went from plain-old bad TV to totally-surreal Mexican variety show. So awesomely bad! Wow…it’s almost enough to make me wanna watch next week. Almost…

Anybody else watch this craziness? If so, what’d you think?

Amazon’s 25 Days of Free!

One of the only things we love more than Christmas music this time of year are freebies — actually, who am I kidding, we love freebies all year long! — so when our friend, Ginger, told us about Amazon.com’s “25 Days of Free” Holiday Music downloads, we couldn’t click over there fast enough!

Not only do they have a wide array of tunes available, with everything from Sinatra to Lady Gaga ready to rock your Christmas playlist, but they also add new songs every day. So, by the time Christmas arrives, well, hot damn, you’re gonna have yourself a pretty substantial collection of free Christmas tunes, yo.

And lest you think this is the only deal on Amazon right now, they are also offering something called the “12 Days of Christmas 2009”, which offers daily deals on music downloads and actual CD’s through the 17th of December. For example we scored the new Bob Dylan Christmas album, “Christmas in the Heart” for $6.99 yesterday. Pretty cool, huh?

So, if freebies and discounts are your thing, get yourself to Amazon.com pronto. Oh yeah, and just for the record, Amazon did not pay us for this post, we just love them that much. Yay!

My apologies to Lady Gaga…

Dear Lady Gaga,

I know that in the past I have disparaged you to no end in both my blog and in conversations with my friends and family, but after watching your totally bizarre, insanely awesome performance at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards, all I can say is…please forgive me. You seriously rock!

I don’t know if I understand everything you did last night onstage — the “Phantom of the Opera” stuff was cool, but you lost me with the crutches and wheelchair bit, and the blood-soaked ending was just plain crazy! — but anyone who can pull off totally bizarre, performance-arty shit like that with a straight face is cool in my book.

And though it was obscured by fur, feathers, a golden mask and bright red lace for most of the night, the earnest look on your face tells me that you are not just toying with us, but are, in fact, totally batshit crazy.

And for that, and so much more, I gotta tell ya, I kind of love you. So, please forgive me for anything bad I might have said or thought about you in the past. You truly are one fearlessly freaky lady and the music world is a better place because of it. Yep, I even like your music now too…crazy, huh?

Rock on Lady Gaga!

Your newest fan-

Yeti9000

AMtv rocks!

I know it seems like all we watch these days is MTV, but, well, it is kind of our first click on the remote when channel surfing, and we don’t get TCM or Bravo anymore…so, can you really blame us?

And while even the cheesiest of their shows are imminently watchable — “Parental Control” is a drug I cannot resist, and “16 and Pregnant” was downright Emmy-worthy, a seriously fantastic show! — I gotta say, like the rest of you, we’ve been missing the music videos big time.

Well, cheer up, amigos, because MTV has brought back music videos in the form of AMtv. Yep, you heard me, the music has returned to music television! Of course, as the name suggests, AMtv plays said music videos in the middle of the freaking night — from 3:00AM to 9:00AM Monday thru Thursday — so, actually watching them is a whole other issue.

But if you do find yourself awake, say, nursing, changing or bottle-feeding a four-month old, well, AMtv is the show for you, amigos! And lest you think Christine and I are the only crazy people watching music videos till dawn, MTV runs Pampers ads every half hour during the show, so you just know there are legions of other sleep-deprived parents doing the exact same thing.

So, on behalf of the bleary-eyed new parents of America, I want to be the first to say, thank you, MTV. Sure, every other video sucks — yes, Lady Gaga, I’m talking to you — but the fact that you give us scads of other cool current (and retro!) videos to fast-forward through and enjoy in the middle of the night seriously rocks our world. Que viva, la AMtv!

Oh yeah, and, trust me, you do not have to be a bleary-eyed new parent to love this show, so, Tivo away, my friends!