Holy blinking Ewoks, Mr. Lucas!

I’m sure you’ve heard the news by now, but, for those of you who haven’t, George Lucas has once again riled up the “Star Wars” faithful by making a handful of incredibly nerdy, holy unnecessary changes to the “Star Wars” movies for their upcoming Blu-Ray debut. And yes, blinking Ewoks is one of them.

Oh, you didn’t notice that the Ewoks in “Return of the Jedi” didn’t have eyelids? Well, neither did I. And neither did the rest of the flipping world, but, something tells me those un-blinking Ewoks kept Lucas awake many a night for the past twenty-something years. How else to explain that and the rest of the completely ridiculous changes he’s made to the sci-fi classics? Oy, seriously, somebody get this man a hobby already…

To see a full list of the absurdities about to be unleashed on Blu-Ray, click here, And in the meantime, I’ll be watching my beloved, un-butchered, un-special-edition Original Theatrical Release version DVD’s of the original series.

They might not look as crisp as the Blu-Ray versions of the films, but any world where Han Solo still shoots first and those loathsome little Ewoks have dry, itchy eyes, is cool with me!

Best Super Bowl Ad (2011)

Wow, and I thought last year’s crop of Super Bowl Ads was lacking…yikes! It was like the companies all got together and decided to have a contest to see who could spend the most on crazy, over-produced digital effects while trying to cram every idea they ever had into a thirty-second spot. Madness! I am not an old man, but if I was, I swear to God, the overall rapid-fire-ness of some of those ads would make my head explode. Too much!

Also, just because you can afford to dump a load of money into manufacturing cheesy, Coke-shilling Euro-dragons doesn’t mean you should. That shit was straight-up loony toons, and on top of that, it was ugly as sin. Blech! I don’t know who art directed some of these spots, but, wow, simplicity went out the window with brevity, big time!

In fact, too much of everything seemed to be the keyword yesterday. It’s like everyone forgot how powerful and moving a short, sweet and simple ad can be. You don’t need a bunch of stupid stunts or tired old people jokes to make a great ad, hell, if your ad is smart enough, sometimes, you don’t even need words.

That said, I give you our favorite 2011 Super Bowl ad: the truly-inspired Darth Vader spot for VW. Clean, simple, an instant classic, this ad is one for the ages, amigos. So, enjoy…and, until next year, may the Force be with you…

Williams-Sonoma “Star Wars” kitchen collection on sale!

I have been waiting for the chance to blog about the super-cool “Star Wars” Collection at Williams-Sonoma for a while now. But, every time I wanted to write about it, something came up, and then, when I heard that the entire collection of cookie cutters, pancake molds, sandwich molds, aprons and spatulas was on sale for 20% off through Sunday 01/23, well, I knew the time had come.

Released a little over a year ago, every piece in the “Star Wars” collection was personally approved by Mr. Lucas himself. And, from the looks of it, the dude likes to eat, so, I’m thinking he knows what he likes in his kitchen gear. And, hello, it’s made by Williams-Sonoma, so, you know this shit is gonna last forever.

We started our collection with the “Star Wars Heroes and Villains Pancake Molds”, and, though the  details on Darth Vader and the Stormtrooper’s masks run together a bit when they cook, as you can see from our pics, the Yoda head pancake looks freaking awesome on the plate.

We also have both sets of the cookie cutters — which work beautifully and look amazing either frosted or un-frosted — the Darth Vader spatula and the “Galactic Empire Cupcake Decorating Kit”, which is like, my childhood fantasy come to life. So cool! Where were you when I was ten, Williams-Sonoma?!

Anyway, whichever side you chose to align yourself with — as you can tell, we lean towards the dark side in this household — the “Star Wars” collection at Williams-Sonoma is a must for any true fan. To paraphrase Obi Wan: “These definitely are the kitchen gadgets you’re looking for! And they NEVER go on sale!” So, get shopping already!

Oh yeah, and make sure and pick up one of those handy Williams-Sonoma Pancake Pens too. They make pouring the batter into the molds easy as pie and they open at both ends, so, clean-up is a dream!

“Star Wars: The Complete Saga” coming to Blu-Ray this fall!

Even if you didn’t have a ticket to CES last week, self-respecting “Star Wars” fans everywhere felt a powerful disturbance in the Force when it was announced on Thursday that the “Star Wars” saga is finally coming to Blu-Ray Disc this September. Whoo-hoo, thank the maker!

No official street date has been announced, but, you can pre-order your “Star Wars” saga three different ways this time out.

Old School: in a set containing only the original three films and all the extras, New School: the Prequel Films only, with all the extras, or, you can go whole hog and get the Complete Collection of all six films in one big old boxed set for somewhere around $139.99. Hmmm…guess which one I have my eye on?

I think the only bad news for hard-core fans is that we’ll have to buy the full set of “Star Wars” movies…again! I mean, shit, if you count Videodisc, VHS widescreen and full-frame, Laserdisc and DVD, I’ve bought these same damn movies like, five times over. But, hey, who’s counting?

If the rad-ass new trailer (above) is any indication, the Blu-Ray editions are gonna rock, so, start saving your Republic Credits now, baby! Yee-haw!

Mr. Potato Head Elvis

Whoa…could this summer get any cooler? I just got an email from my friends at Elvis.com announcing the upcoming launch of a super cute Mr. Potato Head Elvis! Yay, now my Darth Tater won’t be so lonely.

Introduced to the world by a rocking Elvis tribute artist in a sparkly Elvis jumpsuit, Mr. Potato Head Elvis’ debut is timed to coincide with Elvis Week 2010 and will be followed at Christmas time by a ’68 Comeback Special version in black leather! Whew, now I finally know what to ask Santa for!

Ricardo Montalban (1920-2009)

For those of you who haven’t heard yet, Ricardo Montalban, the coolest Mexican cat to ever don a white suit in the tropics, passed away today in Los Angeles at the ripe old age of 88.

And while he was a pioneering champion of Latino’s everywhere…onstage, onscreen and even behind-the-scenes…Ricardo Montalban was also one hell of an actor. With over one-hundred-and-fifty screen credits to his name, that dude worked non-stop. But there are two roles that, for me at least, made Montalban a straight-up bad-ass.

The first was Montalban’s iconic Mr. Roarke on “Fantasy Island”. I remember the pilot episode of that show scaring the shit out of me…I don’t know why, but there was something really f-ing creepy to me about that island. And if I remember correctly, Mr. Roarke was much more dark and menacing in the early seasons than he was later on. Seriously scary shit…

Childhood nightmares aside, however, the role that will forever endear Ricardo Montlban to me is his big, rip-roaring performance as the maniacal Kahn in “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn”. My Dad was a huge fan of those movies and we watched them many times (except for the sucky first one…yikes) but our favorite to this day is “Kahn”.

I know it’s lavish praise, but in my mind, Montalban’s villainous turn as Kahn Noonien Singh ranks up there with Darth Vader, Rutger Hauer from “Blade Runner” and maybe the Alien from the “Alien” movies as one of the best sci-fi villains of all time. Seriously, this dude kicked Kirk and company’s ass in that movie! And he was Mexican to boot! Way to go, hombe…way to go!

So, for Kahn, Roarke, and every other suave-ass thing you did in a lifetime of sauve…RIP, amigo. You will be missed…

“Star Wars: The Force Unleashed”

Breaking my long-standing rule about getting up early, I was second in line at Target on Tuesday morning to purchase the rocking new video game from LucasArts, “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed”.

Now, I know what you’re probably thinking: “Yikes..he’s blogging about “Star Wars” video games now? This dude gets nerdier by the minute…” And yes, I totally do. But that’s beside the point.

I’ve been looking forward to this game since my brother and I first saw, and were blown away by, some of the concept art at the Stars Wars Celebration IV last year. Yes, we went to that too and it rocked! The thing that we loved most about the concept of this game is that it acts as a bridge between the plotlines of the actual movies. Cool, huh?

Set during the time period between “Revenge of the Sith” and “A New Hope”, the game’s central playable character is Darth Vader’s Secret Apprentice who is recruited to the dark side to hunt down and kill any and all remaining Jedi Knights in the galaxy. Wow! It’s like Lucas and company have finally come up with a game that is just as dark and twisted as the movie’s coolest character, Lord Vader himself. Awesome!

And though I was, as I said above, second in line to purchase the game on Tuesday, I am probably the last in line to figure out how to play the damn thing. For though it looks and plays as cool, if not cooler than, some of the movies, this game is f-ing hard, man!

Chapter One begins with you playing Darth Vader — which, if you ask me, is not a bad way to start — and has you charging around Chewbacca’s crazy-cool homeworld of Kashyyyk in search of a rogue Jedi Knight. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, not really.

See, killing the wookies is easy and the force unleashed powers are pretty spectacularly rendered, but once you meet up with that crafty rogue Jedi — who I’m assuming is also the Secret Apprentice you will play as for the rest of the game — things get real hard real fast!

I should say here that I am not a pro gamer by anyone’s standard, and since Christine was off baking cookies while I played, it was just me and my Wii remote flailing and cussing up a storm in the living room. I was getting better by the end, but man, getting that damn Jedi to surrender to the dark side was way harder than it looks on the box, amigos.

So, for now, I’m gonna bone up a bit on the game — who knows, I might actually read the instructions this time! — and try playing again this weekend with a group. Between the four of us eggheads — Ryan, Laura, Christine and myself — we should be able to at least advance to the next level…I hope.

In the meantime, check out the rocking trailer for the game here and if you pick up a copy of “The Force Unleashed” for yourself, please call me and tell me how to play the damn thing! Seriously, I’m dying here…

Yoda statue at Lucasfilm!

After spending a good chunk of the weekend clearing off the Tivo — finished up watching most of the Olympics and the tail end of both political conventions! Whew! — I am finally getting around to uploading the scads of pictures we took this summer onto our Flickr page. Yay!

And while sorting through some pics from our weekend jaunt to San Francisco in July, I came across some rocking pictures I took of the crazy-cool Yoda statue outside the Lucasfilm: Letterman Digital Arts Center on the Presidio.

Yes, I said Yoda, as in, the baddest Jedi in the galaxy. And yes, there is an actual statue of Degobah’s finest that you can pose in front of if you know how to find it…cool, huh? As luck would have it, Christine and my friend Ginger and I kind of accidentally discovered the statue a couple of years ago.

While cruising around San Francisco in Ginger’s sweet ride, the three of us explored the beautifully reimagined Presidio — the place was kind of a ghost town when we lived in SF in the 1990’s — in search of the mythical Yoda statue. It was getting dark, and it was cold and totally foggy, and we were about to give up the search  entirely when I spotted an unmarked employee entrance to the Lucasfilm offices near the base of the Presidio.

And after driving the wrong way through the “exit only” driveway — much to the chagrin of both Christine and Ginger! — I found my Yoda statue! And though I had to drag them out of the car with me, we posed for tons of pics outside the gleaming new home of Lucasfilm’s Letterman Digital Arts Center. Then, to our horror, a security guard emerged from the building…

But rather than making a run for the car, being the gigantic goober that I am, I asked him to take a picture of the three of us with Yoda. I know, nerd-tastic! But he was super cool and not only took a picture, but actually invited us inside to see some of the full-scale “Star Wars” models in the lobby.

Aside from shelves full of awards, they had a life size statue of both Darth Vader and Boba Fett towering over the couches in the waiting area…I’m not kidding, man, I just about fainted…talk about geek heaven!

Sadly, most of those pics we took that day were lost to the ages when my laptop Hal 9000 fried earlier this year. So, this past July, I begged Ginger to drive us over to the Presidio (again!) for some all new pics with Master Yoda. And guess what…she agreed! Thanks, Ginger!

So, here, for your viewing enjoyment are my favorite pics of the amazing Yoda statue/fountain at the Presidio. We didn’t get to go inside this time, but hey, been there, done that. Getting some fresh pics with Yoda was my goal, and as you can see, we picked a perfect day for it!

Rock on, Master Yoda! And may the Force be with you…always.

“Star Wars” night on “Deal”

Last week, while checking my Tivo Wishlist, I was kinda thrilled to learn that NBC was gonna air a special two-hour “Star Wars” edition of “Deal or No Deal” this past Monday night. And though I never watch “Deal”, I gotta admit I’m a sucker for their “very special episodes” and have Tivo-ed the show on exactly two other occasions…

Once, to see Celine Dion “sing” her encouragement to a fan via satellite — which was positively surreal — and again a couple weeks back when Bushie appeared (also via satellite) to cheer on a soldier.

But since I love me some “Star Wars”, the minute I learned they were doing a “Wars” themed-episode, I was there. And then, my interest level grew impossibly higher when I learned that one of the contestants (who were both huge “Star Wars” fans) was a very good friend of mine, fellow-Burbankite, Elyse. Whoa!

Like myself, Elyse is a huge pop culture geek who I worked with back in my proofreader days. And though we don’t get the chance to do an in-depth breakdown of the previous night’s “American Idol” performances as often as we used to at work, we still manage to keep in touch. So when I saw Elyse quoting Yoda on a promo for the upcoming “Deal” episode, I called her immediately to confirm that it was really her…and lo and behold, it was. Awesome! One more reason to watch the show!

And man alive, what a show it was! Totally unaware of the “Star Wars” element of the episode, Elyse was joined onstage by fellow-contestant/”Star Wars” fan, Brad. Almost immediately, host Howie Mandel revealed the secret “Star Wars” element of the show and the two were so excited, they were practically in tears. Actually, I think Elyse was literally in tears, but that may have come later…

Anyway, Elyse was up first. So, while Brad hit the sequester room, Elyse (not to mention Christine and myself) just about passed out as dozens of stormtroopers with numbered cases marched down the “Deal” stairs to the strains of John Williams’ “Imperial March”. Let me just say, Elyse was not the only one with goosebumps at that point…it was kind of awesome.

And then, it was revealed that the “Deal” banker — who is usually this shadowy figure in a control booth above the main stage — was going to be replaced tonight by an even darker figure. You guessed it, Darth Vader, or, as they called him later on in the show, “Darth Banker”, was gonna be doing the “Deal-ing” tonight.

At this point, I think Elyse was kind of overwhelmed and started tearing up big time. When Howie asked why, she told him the saddest-ass story you ever heard. Apparently, “Star Wars” was the first movie she saw when she and her family came to America from war-ravaged Vietnam. And though she couldn’t even speak or understand English at the time, Elyse was tremendously moved by the story and said the movie gave her hope and allowed her to “dream bigger”.

Wow…seriously, not a dry eye in the audience, or our house. Even creepy Howie seemed moved. And then, the emotional surprises continued when it was revealed later in the show that Elyse’s cheering section (made up of her husband, Paul and two friends) was going to be joined by the original trilogy’s Princess Leia Organa herself, Carrie Fisher!

Breaking down, Elyse and Carrie hugged it out and Ms. Fisher discussed flying in special for the taping from Berkley when she heard Elyse’s poignant backstory. That’s right, Elyse got Carrie Fisher to fly in special to support her Jedi ass! Amazing! Sadly however, even the presence of Anakin Skywalker’s progeny couldn’t help Elyse, and after some truly memorable gameplay, she ended up leaving the stage with only $13,000.

Next up was Brad. As I said before, he too was a huge “Star Wars” fan, but since his goal in winning was to bull dooze his house down to build a new one — and not to return to her homeland to help struggling family members still in Vietnam, as Elyse vowed to do — watching Brad play wasn’t nearly as dramatic. And even the presence of Chewbacca, R2-D2, and the “Deal” girls decked out in revealing “slave Leia” costumes from “Return of the Jedi” couldn’t help the last hour of the show from seriously dragging.

I mean, the show was fun, but it did not need to be two hours long. Anyway, since it was a winner take all episode, and Brad ended up with the highest amount of money at the end of the game, the greedy, bull-dooze-happy fanboy triumphed over the Vietnamese refuge with the heart of gold. Sorry, Elyse…

But even if she didn’t win the big payout at the end of the day, mi amiga Elyse, and her hilarious game play –not to mention her emotional backstory — still made for some pretty damn fine television. So, while the Sith Lord won the contest, Princess Elyse totally won the war. Rock on, Elyse!

And even though it wasn’t working so well for you on Monday night, remember, the Force will be with you…always…