Stride Shift Berry + Mint Gum

Normally, I would hate to follow a bad review with another one, but, this latest salvo in the Stride Gum Revolution was so bad that I simply had to warn you away from it. Yes, I know, the commercials are kinda cute and gum that changes flavor as you chew it does sound like a Wonkatastic idea. But, trust me, amigos, Stride Shift Berry + Mint gum is just plain horrific.

Being the cheap-ass that I am, I waited until their was a two-for-one coupon in the newspaper and the minute it came, I cut that baby out and practically ran to Vons to get me some Stride Shift. Now, before I go any further, I should tell you that the other flavor we sampled was the Citrus + Mint, which was only mildly repulsive…but that Berry + Mint? Wow, what a disaster!

At first blush though, everything seemed cool. The packaging was kinda retro and fun, and the website describes the Berry + Mint flavor as, and I quote: “a gateway gum to Unbelievablesville”, so, I was so ready to get down with this stuff. But then I opened the package and saw a very strange, purple-hued gum that can best be described as spongy candy sandpaper.

I imagine the gritty feel of the individual pieces is due to the flavor crystals or some shit, but, seriously, who wants to eat gritty gum? Yikes…

Once I started chewing it, however, I soon realized that the grit was the least of my problems. I mean, the artificial berry flavor up front was fine, and, you know, appropriately artificial tasting, but the truly epic terribleness of this gum was only revealed to me after “the shift”.

My brother described this gum best by calling it “Berry + Aluminum Foil” and, sadly, that is not far off. Tinny, sharp and freakishly metallic tasting, the mint flavor is so weird that you’d swear you lost a filling or something. Blech…coupon or no coupon, I’d say stay as far away as you can from this Stride Shift nastiness.

Oh, and just in case you do happen to keep this crap in your mouth after “the shift”, I should warn you that Stride Shift Berry + Mint completely disintegrates — and sticks to everything in your mouth! — in a little over an hour. Yep, I said disintegrates, like asprin melting on your tongue.

Urgh…just try “shifting” that taste outta your mouth!