Tag Archives: cell phone

The iPhone Generation

Early contract termination fees be damned, Christine and I finally broke down last week and joined the cult of iPhone. That’s right, amigos, we both switched over and are, at long last, a two iPhone household. Hooray!

Some of our more impassioned fellow cult members gave us a hard time for not going full hog and getting the swanky iPhone 4G, but, trust me, the 3GS version that we did get is more than enough mobile awesomeness for us both.

And, brother, the words “mobile awesomeness” don’t even begin to describe our sexy new iPhones. Slick, streamlined, and, like all things Mac, crazy easy-to-use, this is, hands down, the coolest cellphone I have ever owned.

Christine says she fell in love with hers at the store, but for me, it was the first time I synced it to my Macbook and in a matter of seconds had every important thing on my computer downloaded onto my iPhone as well. I have never been able to do that with my Sprint phones and, lemme tell ya, it felt amazing!

This baby laptop has it all, yo…music, photos, loads of super cool Apps, and best of all…customizable ringtones! I shit you not, I learned how to make my own ringtones using songs from my personal library in like, five minutes.

I know it sounds crazy, but I haven’t felt this much insta-love for something since Greta came along. Sorry, sweetie, Daddy still loves you best, but, seriously, who needs a second kid when you have a shiny iPhone in your diaper bag?

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California goes “hands-free” today!

Hands on the wheel, Californios! As of today, chatty, a-hole drivers everywhere will have to comply with Senate Bill 1613 — more commonly known as the hands-free cell phone bill — or face ever increasing fines.

I say, right on! Who in L.A. (or anywhere for that matter) has not almost been side-swiped, suddenly cut off or otherwise had their life endangered by some cell-phone-mad soccer mom in a speeding minivan? Nothing against soccer moms, or minivans — our friend’s Nic and Dan’s rocking minivan is so big, you could do laps in that thing! — but no matter what you drive, this bill was a long time coming in my book, so, yeah!

Christine and I have been fervent headset users for years — it didn’t hurt that we used to know someone in “the biz” who kept us knee-deep in new headsets! — so this new law is really just sanctioning something we already do on a daily basis. But for millions of California drivers, I think hands-free chatting is gonna take some serious getting used to.

I’m sure you’ve seen the non-stop print ads with Bluetooth this, hands-free that, I mean, every other kiosk at the mall nowadays is shilling headsets. So, seeing as one of our old standby headsets just recently bit the dust, I set out last week in search of a new one.

And when I heard they were even selling headsets at the 99-Cent Store, well, I had to check that shit out! So, I headed on over, plopped down my dollar and tried that thing out…and…drumroll please, the headset (pictured above) was so cheap that it actually broke in my car in the parking lot!

I’m not kidding, the speaker cover tore when I opened the package and without it, the headset sounds — in the words of my sister-in-law, Laura — like I am talking to you from a thousand fathoms below or something.

Honestly, I didn’t think that thing was gonna have like, Bluetooth quality sound or anything, but, wow…I didn’t expect it to fall apart on the drive home either! Yikes…99-cents was way too much to pay for that crap…

So, if you’re struggling to get hands-free-compliant today and looking for a last-minute headset…I suggest you try someplace other than the 99-Cent Store. Just an idea…

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Santa Muerte strikes again…

OK, I know I’m breaking with the narrative a bit here by skipping to the present day…but the reason is that my old foe, Santa Muerte — Saint Death, who plays a pivotal role in our movie — has struck again.

Santa Muerte, phone stealer!
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Earlier today, we were filming a bloody Santa Muerte induction ceremony in an abandoned apartment building in downtown Albuquerque…and guess what happened? I lost my new cell phone.

Yep, it’s gone. If it wasn’t stolen from the craft service cart on the bustling street below, then it was somehow sucked into the shadows of our dusty old set. But I’m convinced that my phone has left this plain altogether and that somewhere, Santa Muerte is texting her friends like mad.

The scene of the crime…
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My phone searching gear!
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Seriously, I looked EVERYWHERE for that thing. And if I couldn’t find my phone anywhere on set with the aid of a dust mask, a pair of latex gloves and a snow shovel…well, I don’t think that thing will ever be found…

The good news — if you can call it that — is that Christine called Sprint (thanks, honey!) and they can still transfer my service back to my old phone — oh yeah, did I mention that this phone was new? I actually bought it the day I left L.A….nice, huh? — if I do it right away. So, since I don’t exactly feel like shelling out the bucks for a new cell…old phone it is!
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Santa Muerte candles…
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Man…first my laptop, then my cell phone…I guess the big lesson here is, don’t write scripts about skeletal street Saints. And, you know, make sure you keep your cell phone in your pocket on set!

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