R.I.P. Davy Jones

For a brief shining moment in our youth, my brother and I were really, really into The Monkees. Re-runs of the show played an Channel 44 every day after school and it was so weird and goofy-funny that we started racing home to watch it. Like, every day. That said, we were also huge fans of another iconic, after-school staple, The Brady Bunch.

So, when a star from The Monkees (Davy Jones) made a now-legendary guest appearance on The Brady Bunch, well, that was big-ass news in our house.

The episode was awesome, Davy Jones rocked it, and Maureen McCormick was at the peak of her loveliness (meaning, she had boobs) but the kicker was the last line of the show when Mr. Jones kissed Marcia on the cheek and she uttered the eternal line: “I’ll never wash this cheek again…” The perfect last line to the perfect episode. Except, it never happened. That’s right, myself and hundreds of other bloggers out there today simply got our Brady Bunch episodes mixed up.

Contrary to popular lore, and Patton Oswald’s hilarious tweet (see, he got it wrong too!) the Davy Jones episode ended with Marcia simply kissing him on the cheek after he promised to take her to the prom. The legendary “cheek washing” line was actually taken from a much earlier episode of the show, where a much younger, (pre-boobs) Marcia uttered the line after being kissed on the cheek by Desi Arnaz Jr.! Yikes, I would have seriously bet everything I own that that line was about Davy Jones…who knew?!

Anyway, regardless of who the line was about, it applies just as nicely to Davy Jones today as it did to Desi Arnaz Jr. in 1970. She might have meant it for someone else, but, leave it to Marcia Brady to perfectly capture the effect Davy Jones had on the world with a single, indelible line of dialog.

Rest in peace, Mr. Jones, you will be missed…

Farrah Fawcett (1947-2009)

Anyone who watched that crazy-sad documentary “Farrah’s Story” a few weeks back knew that this day was totally coming, but, wow, who knew it would come so quickly? And Christine and I had no idea it would move us like it did. I mean, we were sad and totally shocked about Michael Jackson, but, Farrah’s passing made us both cry like babies.

I guess it might be the cancer angle, or maybe just watching her fight so bravely in the face of completely shitty odds, but for whatever reason, the death of Farrah Fawcett hit us both really hard. Sure, she was crazy sometimes — that boozy meltdown with David Letterman in 1997 comes to mind — but for anyone who grew up in the 1970’s, Farrah was the 70’s. I mean, seriously, who didn’t love that woman back in the day?

One season on “Charlie’s Angels” and that awesome, nipple-tastic poster above would have been enough for some women, but not Farrah. Fawcett showed she could really act in hard-hitting, award-worthy movies like “The Burning Bed”, “Extremeties” and “The Apostle” and, hell, even her bad movies kinda rocked. I mean, hello, my brother and I did not run to the theatre to see “Logan’s Run” for Michael York.

And even though I have yet to sit through it, I must admit I’ve always been curious about that legendary robot rape scene with Farrah in the epically-bad “Saturn 3”. Yes, amigos, the villainous robot apparently attempts to rape Farrah at one point. Don’t know if it happened onscreen or not, but I do know that was a key selling point when the film came out. And we were totally buying…but, well, it was rated R, and we were way too young pass for 17…so, we never saw it.

But even crazy misfires like “Saturn 3” prove that Farrah’s appeal was kinda bulletproof. She wasn’t just easy on the eyes, but she was funny, smart, opinionated and one of the most interesting and one-of-a-kind badasses to ever rock the pop culture spectrum.

So, for that and so much more, we salute you Farrah Fawcett. Your humor, your strength, your style and most of all, your rocking hair, will live on forever. Vaya con Dios, angelita de Carlos…you will be sorely missed.

Ricardo Montalban (1920-2009)

For those of you who haven’t heard yet, Ricardo Montalban, the coolest Mexican cat to ever don a white suit in the tropics, passed away today in Los Angeles at the ripe old age of 88.

And while he was a pioneering champion of Latino’s everywhere…onstage, onscreen and even behind-the-scenes…Ricardo Montalban was also one hell of an actor. With over one-hundred-and-fifty screen credits to his name, that dude worked non-stop. But there are two roles that, for me at least, made Montalban a straight-up bad-ass.

The first was Montalban’s iconic Mr. Roarke on “Fantasy Island”. I remember the pilot episode of that show scaring the shit out of me…I don’t know why, but there was something really f-ing creepy to me about that island. And if I remember correctly, Mr. Roarke was much more dark and menacing in the early seasons than he was later on. Seriously scary shit…

Childhood nightmares aside, however, the role that will forever endear Ricardo Montlban to me is his big, rip-roaring performance as the maniacal Kahn in “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn”. My Dad was a huge fan of those movies and we watched them many times (except for the sucky first one…yikes) but our favorite to this day is “Kahn”.

I know it’s lavish praise, but in my mind, Montalban’s villainous turn as Kahn Noonien Singh ranks up there with Darth Vader, Rutger Hauer from “Blade Runner” and maybe the Alien from the “Alien” movies as one of the best sci-fi villains of all time. Seriously, this dude kicked Kirk and company’s ass in that movie! And he was Mexican to boot! Way to go, hombe…way to go!

So, for Kahn, Roarke, and every other suave-ass thing you did in a lifetime of sauve…RIP, amigo. You will be missed…