Worst Oscar Telecast ever!

How boring was last night’s Oscar telecast? So boring that I couldn’t even stay awake to blog about it afterwards…and, trust me, I stay up late up all the time, so, that is really saying something.

Long, strangely-paced, badly-produced, hosted and directed, I gotta tell ya, last night’s show was probably the worst Oscar telecast of my adult life. And, yes, I’m including the David Letterman and Rob Lowe/Snow White fiascos.

The thing that really kills me is that I was so excited about the hosts this year. I love Anne Hathaway to death and James Franco is great in everything I’ve ever seen him in…but, together, wow, they were like, epically bad.

I know most of the blame falls at the feet of the lame-brained writers and producers — did we really need those hideous “Gone With The Wind” and “Titanic” graphics projected in the background? And don’t even get me started about that freaky Bob Hope hologram…yikes! — but Hathaway and Franco were so boring that you could practically hear viewers switching the channel. Urgh…

To her credit, Hathaway at least tried to keep things lively, but the dead-eyed Franco looked like he needed a nap most of the night. Watching Hathaway desperately flit around the stage last night while Franco half-napped at the podium reminded me of those old elementary school group projects where one person on the team always worked harder than the other. As a team, they failed, but, I think I’d give Annie an “A” for effort!

Not helping the overall yawn-factor last night was the fact that almost everyone who was predicted to win, did. Which is cool for the very-deserving winners (way to go, Queen Amidala!) but makes for really boring television. Thankfully, “Inception” cleaned up in the technical categories…so, that was fun to watch, even if Christopher Nolan was denied his Oscar (again!).

Dying to hear what you guys thought of the show, and if you have any suggestions for better hosts for next year — hell, that Bob Hope hologram would be better than Hathaway and Franco! — I’d love to hear them too…so, fire away!

Elementary, my dear Watson…

OK, I know it happened last week, but, my mind is still reeling from watching a freaking supercomputer named Watson beat the pants of the two biggest winners in “Jeopardy” history. I mean, think about it, a gigantic computer with no internet access faced off with two really smart humans on a game show and won. Wow, my brain is still scrambling to make sense of it all…

I know it sounds lame, but, I just kept thinking: this is the future, we are literally watching the future unfold on our TV sets. It wasn’t always perfect (wasn’t it weird how jokey wording or kinda non-specific, broader answers tripped Watson up? Fascinating!) but, for three amazing nights last week, we lived in the future and it was thrilling!

I for one, say, long live, Watson! And as  the soundly-defeated Ken Jennings joked in his final answer, I too wholehearted embrace our new “computer overlords”. Bring on the war with the machines, baby!

Barbie & Ken together again!

Wow, we are totally slipping on our pop culture knowledge. Even Christine and I — hard-core Barbie lovers from way back — had no idea that Barbie and Ken had been broken up all this time until we read about it last week. Crazy, huh?

According to Mattel lore, Barbie dumped Ken, after forty-three years of dating bliss, seven years ago on Valentine’s Day. Since then, she has been dating Aussie surfer dude, Blaine, while Ken has been doing everything he can to woo her back.

Well, I guess seven years of wooing worked, because Ken finally won back Barbie’s heart on this past Valentine’s Day. And to celebrate their fateful reunion, Mattel has released a totally groovy update of the original Barbie and Ken dolls in this super-cool Barbie & Ken “She Said Yes” gift set.

But, wait, it gets better! Said gift set is available this week only (2/13 through 2/20) for the low, low price of $5.00 at Target stores nationwide. Ha, just try and beat that price point, Blaine!

As you can imagine, we were first in line when they went on sale Sunday, and Greta has been carrying the born again lovebirds with her everywhere we go. Which is cool and all, but, lemme tell ya, Ken’s flip flops are impossible to keep on, so, he mostly goes barefoot now.

Either way, congrats to the happy couple. This year also marks Ken’s 50th birthday and from what we hear, Mattel has all sorts of other surprises in store for the newly-un-single man of plastic. So, watch out world, because the greatest love story of all time is bound to get a lot more interesting!

Oh yeah, we also just learned that Ken has a last name and it is Carson. Yuckers! I’m hoping Barbie keeps it real and doesn’t take Ken’s last name when they wed, or, re-wed, or whatever they do. I mean, seriously, can you think of a less-fabulous-sounding name than Barbie Carson? Yikes…

Oscar Nominee Luncheon (2011)

OK, I’ll totally admit it…aside from actually attending the Cannes Film Festival, one of my dreams is to attend the Academy’s annual Oscar Nominee Luncheon. And, I ain’t picky, I don’t need to attend as a nominee. No way. Hell..I’d wait tables or, you know, make lattes for them if it got me in the door!

I mean…check out these pics and tell me this does not look like the coolest event of the entire award season. No pressure to win, no live-television audience, just all the free food, drink and movie star snapshots you can stomach. So awesome!

Oooo, hey, come to think of it, I made scads of lattes for Ms. Bening when I worked at Peet’s, so, who knows…maybe she’ll give me a recommendation for next year. Either way, sign me up!

Christopher Nolan wins WGA award for “Inception”

On Saturday night, Oscar nominee Christopher Nolan came one step closer to winning an Academy Award when he took home the WGA’s prestigious Best Original Screenplay award for “Inception”. Whoo-hoo! Finally someone that I actually voted for wins the top prize. So cool!

Of course, Nolan will have a tougher fight at the Oscars, where he’ll square off in the Best Original Screenplay category with Academy-favorite Mike Leigh’s “Another Year” and David Seidler’s amazing script for “The King’s Speech”, which wasn’t eligible for WGA consideration. So, here’s hoping the sci-fi geeks in the Academy follow the WGA’s lead and give Nolan his due.

In fact, maybe I should hire someone cool like this to plant the idea in their heads right now. Hmmm…

Best Super Bowl Ad (2011)

Wow, and I thought last year’s crop of Super Bowl Ads was lacking…yikes! It was like the companies all got together and decided to have a contest to see who could spend the most on crazy, over-produced digital effects while trying to cram every idea they ever had into a thirty-second spot. Madness! I am not an old man, but if I was, I swear to God, the overall rapid-fire-ness of some of those ads would make my head explode. Too much!

Also, just because you can afford to dump a load of money into manufacturing cheesy, Coke-shilling Euro-dragons doesn’t mean you should. That shit was straight-up loony toons, and on top of that, it was ugly as sin. Blech! I don’t know who art directed some of these spots, but, wow, simplicity went out the window with brevity, big time!

In fact, too much of everything seemed to be the keyword yesterday. It’s like everyone forgot how powerful and moving a short, sweet and simple ad can be. You don’t need a bunch of stupid stunts or tired old people jokes to make a great ad, hell, if your ad is smart enough, sometimes, you don’t even need words.

That said, I give you our favorite 2011 Super Bowl ad: the truly-inspired Darth Vader spot for VW. Clean, simple, an instant classic, this ad is one for the ages, amigos. So, enjoy…and, until next year, may the Force be with you…

Happy 43rd birthday, Lisa Marie!

Wow…who knew that Lisa Marie Presley shared the same birthday (February 1st) as our BFF, Ginger? It got me to thinking about what other celebrities share our birthdays. As I’ve mentioned before, I can claim Doc Martens, Debbie Reynolds and Susan Boyle on April 1st, but what about the rest of you? Any cool (or better yet, uncool!) celebs born on your birthday? Let me know…

And in the meantime, here’s hoping our two favorite early-February birthday girls had a blast on their big day, yesterday. Much love to you both!

The return of the Mt. Dew hillbilly!

Has anyone else seen this retro logo coolness on their grocery store shelves? I haven’t “done the Dew” in many a moon — Mountain Dew’s strange electric green color makes my stomach churn — but, wow, I almost bought a 12-pack just for the packaging. So cool!

I don’t know why Mountain Dew brought back their classic hillbilly logo, but, any company that sells their product with the totally un-PC image of a hillbilly drinking hooch from a jug, well…you had me at hillbilly.

If I see it on the shelf again, I’m buying me a whole case of that shit! Yee-haw!