OK, first off, who even knew that David Lynch made coffee? I mean, I’m a David Lynch geek from way back, and even I had no idea that the multi-talented Lynch also roasted his own blend of gourmet coffee! Wow…so cool.
Anyway, my friend Ginger and I literally stumbled upon David Lynch Signature Cup coffee in the Book Soup booth at this year’s Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Apparently, Lynch had been there earlier in the day signing copies of his book on meditation, “Catching the Big Fish: Meditation, Consciousness and Creativity”, which had just come out in paperback.
Seeing that stack of Lynch books with the little “signed copy” stickers totally threw me. Wait, whaaa? David Lynch was here at the Festival…signing books while Ginger and I waited in line for the Alicia Silverstone cookbook signing? Are you kidding me?! Urgh…damn you, Cher Horowitz!
Of course, it wasn’t really Silverstone’s fault. The Festival of Books printed catalog and website is almost impossible to decipher and Lynch was just one of many cool author events we missed that day. Thanks, Los Angeles Times!
Anyway, back to the coffee. So, right beside the pile of signed meditation books at the Book Soup cash wrap was a tiny pyramid of David Lynch Signature Cup coffee cans. Seriously, I just about died. I mean, right there before me was the perfect marriage of two of my lifelong passions…movies and coffee…in a darkly-beautiful, collectible can to boot! How insanely awesome!
I immediately purchased a can of the Organic House Blend — David Lynch Signature Cup also makes an Organic Espresso and Organic French Roast Decaf — and popped that thing open the minute we got home. I didn’t make the coffee for a few more days, but, I just about died (again!) at what was inside the can. Nestled beneath the bag of coffee beans at the bottom of the can was a very cool “Eraserhead” coffee coaster!
Like the nerd that I am, my first thought was: “Wow, I wonder if the other coffee flavors have different coasters! I must buy them all!” Cooler heads prevailed and I decided to try the coffee first. And thank God I did, because that shit was nasty! Blech…watery, flavorless, probably one of the weakest cups of joe I’ve ever had. I tried making it several different ways too…regular drip, press pot, blended with a darker roast…but it always tasted the same.
If I had to pick a Lynch film to describe that gunk, I’d probably go with his bloated, big-budget disaster “Dune”. I know that sounds harsh, but, I was expecting something dark and murky, like “Twin Peaks”, but what I got was straight-up “Dune” in a cup. Only, you know…wetter.
So, if you’re on the market for a groovy collectible coffee can and “Eraserhead” coaster, by all means, order yours today! But if you’re looking for great gourmet coffee from a great filmmaker…keep on waiting.
make. see. eat. do. 
Hahahahaha! So sorry it tasted like ass! That canister and coaster are awesome, though.
This got me thinking: Which others directors would you buy coffee from?
That’s so funny you asked! Nerd that I am, I was already making up a list of my favorite directors and what they would call their coffees!
1. Dazed and Consumed Austin City Limits Blend: from Richard Linklater
2. You Talkin’ to me? Italian Roast: from Marty Scorsese
3. And some very rare bean, small roast batch that maybe was roasted only every five years or so from the reclusive Terrence Malick! Badlands Blend anyone?
And then it goes without saying that I would buy any coffee with a “Star Wars” logo on it…so, get busy Lucas! 🙂
That’s a great list. I like the rare Malick blend. And I’d buy Star Wars coffee in a heartbeat! I’ll take one bag of Darth Roast, please.
I’ll tell you who I WOULDN’T buy from: Barbra Streisand. Her coffee would be misty and water-colored.
Oh, I dunno…her “The Roast Has Two Faces” blend of light and dark might be nice… 🙂
Gus Van Sant said Lynch’s coffee wasn’t bad if you added a little MILK. 🙂
LOL! Hilarious!! I’ll have to try that next time…