“Harper’s Island”

Sure the writing is kinda obvious and the only real “name” in the cast — wait, is Harry Hamlin still considered a “name”? —  was literally sliced in half on the pilot, but for some reason, Christine and I are already seriously hooked on the new TV show “Harper’s Island”.

If you’ve somehow managed to escape the ubiquitous commercials and billboards, “Harper’s Island” is a limited-run murder mystery series (meaning it will resolve itself completely, telenovela-style after 13 episodes) airing Thursdays at 10PM on CBS. Yes, that CBS…

HARPER'S ISLAND #1

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Set on a spooky, fog-shrouded island just north of Seattle, “Harper’s” isn’t exactly award-worthy fare, but, so far there has been plenty of gratuitous sex and some shockingly-gory murders — one dude was beheaded by the engine blades on a boat! Awesome! — so, like I said above, we’re kinda hooked.

The other big selling point for us is that the show will end in 13 weeks. I mean, hell, we’ve watched way lesser shows for a lot longer — yeah, you heard me final two seasons of “Angel” — so, 13 weeks of Lifetime TV-movie actors getting the axe (literally!) sounds cool to us.

So far, the premise is pretty much a “Scream” rehash with the troubled daughter of a murdered mother returning home to the Island for a friend’s wedding. Haunted by her mother’s death, the girl is kind of a cutesy basket case and the fact that every other character acts all “murderous” all the time doesn’t help put her frail mind to ease.

So far, people have violently chopped the heads off fishes, burned snails with a magnifying glass and revealed Satanic-looking tattoos just before getting in a crazy bar fight. Can you say, suspects? Wow!

HARPER'S ISLAND #3

HARPER'S ISLAND #4

Seriously, this show is like a crash course in cheesy soap opera acting: say or do something creepy, smile darkly to yourself…and hold that pose while the music builds. It’s kind of hilarious. And with almost every character already having had one of those moments, guessing who the killer is, and why they are killing everyone could be kinda fun.

Or not…but hey, it’s only for 13 episodes, right? So, if you’re looking for some cheesy so-bad-it’s-good fun, check out “Harper’s Island”. And, seriously, take a drink every time someone does something creepy and, trust me, you’ll be wasted by the fifteen minute mark. A-W-E-S-O-M-E!

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5 Comments

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5 responses to ““Harper’s Island”

  1. wan

    This show is right up my alley!!! I thought it was a reality show, based on the ads, so we didn’t record it. I’m regretting it now!

  2. Oh, gosh, I agree. That show has such cheesy soap-opera acting but I have to watch it because I love a good mystery. I guess it’s a good thing I’m not invested in any of the actors or characters right now because I’ll have no problem with them being killed.

    Couldn’t believe what they did to Harry Hamlin. But why hasn’t anyone found his body? How long can a body that’s been cut in half and hanging from a rope bridge go undetected?

  3. I know! And, hello, hasn’t anyone needed to use that bridge in the last couple of days? So unrealistic! 🙂

    But my favorite two murders happened on Friday night’s episode: first they chopped off the head of an innocent, hearing-impaired priest and then they lit that poor blonde chick on fire! INSANITY!

    Can’t wait till this week!!

  4. Ginger

    Yikes! Soooo not my type of show. Thanks for reviewing it (minus the scary pics!) so that I can be sure to go running in the opposite direction when it airs. “Heads on pikes” style shows…nightmare city… 😦

  5. Oh, I just thought it was a pilot for a regular series. Had I known that it was only a 13-episode commitment, I might have started watching it.

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