Duff vs. Dunaway: Battle of the Bonnies

Apparently, the Christian Bale blow-up isn’t the only juicy celebrity news this week. It seems that some totally lame-brained filmmakers have decided to inexplicably remake the film classic “Bonnie and Clyde” with, get this, Hilary Duff starring as Bonnie Parker.

Battle of the Bonnies #1

Battle of the Bonnies #2

Yep, that Hilary Duff. Insanity! But even weirder than the casting is the juicy war of words that followed its announcement. Upon hearing that Duff would be tackling the iconic role that made her a star, Faye Dunaway hissed: “Couldn’t they at least cast a real actress?” Meow-ch!

None too pleased with the very public dis, Duff fired back on E! News with this sassy rebuttal: “I think that my fans that are going to go see the movie don’t even know who she is. I think it was a little unnecessary, but I might be mad if I looked like that now, too.” Ooo…double meow-ch!

I don’t know if she’s just getting in character or whatever, but if I were Duff, I’d watch my back. Crazy plastic surgery or not, Dunaway is an Oscar-winning, Hollywood legend who has starred in some of the best movies ever made, and on top of all that, the bitch is straight-up crazy!

Battle of the Bonnies #3

Battle of the Bonnies #4

Battle of the Bonnies #5

So, mock Dunaway’s looks at your own peril Duffy…and don’t be surprised if you wake up one morning with a wire hanger sticking out of your pert little behind. Seriously…watch your back. Laura Mars gonna cut you!

Oddly enough, I actually think Duff bears more than a passing resemblance to a young Dunaway, especially in the pics above, taken during a strangely prophetic photo shoot last year for Allure magazine. So, who knows, maybe Duff will end up with a too-tight face and horse-chomper veneers of her own one day too. Who’ll be “mad” then, huh, Lizzie McGuire?

But the biggest question I have is why in the hell are they remaking “Bonnie & Clyde” in the first place? Maybe it’s that ending? Hmmm…come to think of it, it was kind of a downer…

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Duff vs. Dunaway: Battle of the Bonnies

  1. Haha! I laughed through your entire post. This whole thing is hilarious. Duff’s taking potshots at Dunaway’s looks? Talk about unnecessary. In her prime, Dunaway was a gorgeous movie star while I could bump into ten girls prettier than Duff at the 99-Cent store. Just because they slapped a beret on her head don’t mean she can play Bonnie.

    So does this mean Joe Jonas has a shot at playing Clyde?

  2. wan

    Noodgie, La Duff already has veneers. She got them at the same time she lost all that weight and they made her look horsey. Her face has since filled out and she is back to pretty.

  3. OMG…I didn’t even know Duff had veneers too. What a cheeseball. At least Dunaway had the good taste to wait till all her teeth fell out the old fashioned way before getting some fancy dental work. Duff couldn’t even wait till then!

    And now that you mention it, Popculturenerd, Jonas would make a pretty fetching stand-in for pretty boy Warren Beatty. Ha!

  4. Matt

    I was actually more upset when I heard about the “Robocop”, “The Karate Kid”, and “Old Boy” remakes. At least “Bonnie and Clyde” is based on a true story. Why do they have to remake original stories. Oh, sorry I missed you at the baby shower. I hope your new baby gets Christine’s, uh, everything.

  5. Ha! Me too, man…me too! 🙂

  6. Tom F. Romero

    Hey Hilary looks good. Not sure about her acting but what the hell if they can make money with a remake go for it, nothing is sacred in Hollywood.
    Most young folks probably don’t even know who Faye or Bonnie are or were but now they will with young and pert Hilary.

    At least they didn’t cast Britney Spears for the part.

  7. Calm down everyone. I think the movie-watching industry is big enough to handle more than one film adaptation of the Bonnie & Clyde story.

    Although the remake will surely be weak, it will still attract the legions of Hilary Duff fans and the like. Besides, it’s not like the MySpace generation is really interested in seeing 40+-year-old films anyway.

    And the 1967 version will always be around for the people who actually like timeless classics.

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