Sarah Palin scares me…

Christine and I haven’t been watching the Republican National Convention with nearly as much interest as we did the Dem’s rocking gathering in Denver last week, but, judging from what we have seen, some of the stuff going on in the Twin Cities this week is just plain scary.

First we had poor Bushie — yes, we actually felt sorry for him for once! — giving what will probably go down in the record books as the most gaffe-ridden speech of the modern age on NBC.

I don’t know how it aired on other networks, but for some reason the audio feed from the convention hall was not synced up with the feed from the White House, so Bush was left silently pausing in all these really weird places for like, forever!

I’m not sure if this was some covert NBC or McCain anti-Bush thing or not, but, the overall effect left Bush looking, if possible, dumber than usual. Poor cowboy is probably just counting the days till he and Laura can retire to the ranch…wow.

Then we had the curiously-orange Fred Thompson going into way too much detail about John McCain’s treatment at the hands of his captors in Vietnam. I mean, really, did we need to hear about McCain’s teeth being “broken at the gums” with a blunt object? Yikes-a-holy, Fred, we’re eating dinner here!

Even scarier than that was the sight of that old turncoat, former Democratic Sen. Joe Lieberman going all Benedict Arnold by hyping up his buddy McCain at the expense of Barack and Hillary. Wow, I wish I could go back in time and erase his name from the ill-fated Gore-Lieberman ticket. That dude needs to go back to Hadassah and learn some manners!

But the biggest shock came last night when Alaska Governor Tina Fey took the stage at the convention. Talk about an Alaskan huskie! Jesus, that lady gave us the creeps big time! I mean, yeah, I’m glad a woman is on the ticket and everything, but, wow, this chick is hard core!

Her daughter’s baby-daddy drama aside — that poor Levi Johnston dude looked so scared watching his future Monster-in-law rip the Dems a new one! — Palin’s crazy-conservative, Creationist, book-banning, NRA-loving record as Governor is the least of our worries. Seriously!

For though Christine outright loathes the bitch, what scares me most about Palin is that she looks so damn normal, and, dare I say, even a little hot — especially in the now-infamous Photoshopped masterpiece below — that you’d never suspect she was such a right-wing nut job.

Watching her speak last night I gotta say I was impressed by how good Palin was at blanketing her blistering and often brutal attacks on the Obama camp beneath this warm veneer of  “hockey mom” homeyness. If you ask me, a wolf (or, cougar, if you will) in sheep’s clothing is the worst kind of scary. Yikes!

And afterwards, as Palin and her family dutifully shared some awkward hugs and smiles onstage with a very stiff-looking McCain, Christine and I could not help feeling how Bristol Palin’s baby-daddy looked all night…scared freaking shitless.

Go, Obama!

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Sarah Palin scares me…

  1. Melissa

    Yikes-a-holy (what???) is right…she is tare f ine. And I really hope she doesn’t punish her daughter by insisting on helping name the baby!

  2. yeti9000

    Ha! Seriously! But judging by the pictures Perez Hilton posted recently — see link in post above and again, here — of the underage Bristol Palin partying down, I’d say she has a whole slew of names to pick from…Jack, Jose Cuervo, Absolut and my personal favorite, Captain Morgan!

    And to think that for all these years, us wacky left-wingers have been saying that abstinence-only sex education doesn’t work? Boy, did the Palin clan prove us wrong! Here’s to crazy-town VP’s and their hard-partying, unwed-mother spawn! Yee-haw! 🙂

  3. Wow, I love election season. Even make.see.eat.do is getting all politico. Loves it!

    I only saw highlights of the earlier speeches. Mitt Romney, that robotic wackjob, reminded me why he would have been the scariest candidate the GOP could have nominated. That right there makes me appreciate the McCain/MILF ticket.

    The other nutjob candidate, Mike Huckabee is even scarier only because he’s so much more likeable than Mitt.

    Fred Thompson … whatever you say about his speech, you know it was better managed than what turned out to be his dreary presidential campaign. What a waste of time Fred Thompson turned out to be this year.

    I still think Giuliani would have made a great candidate … a throwback to those Rockefeller Republicans who were fiscally conservative but didn’t feel the need to let religion dictate social issues.

    Interestingly, I truly believe that all four of the early-in-the-night speakers are hoping Obama takes it, so they can run against him in 2012. (Well, except for Fred Thompson … I think he learned his lesson about wanting to be President once and for all).

    It’s the same reason why the Clintons are secretly hoping McCain wins, so she can run against him in 2012. Funny how that always works.

    As for Sarah Palin, I agree that the scariest thing is that she’s so likeable, that you almost forget she’s crazy. Kind of like Huckabee … but hot.

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