“The American Mall” billboards

OK, I know I probably sound like the world’s most self-involved goober right now, but after doing some business in Hollywood yesterday, I actually drove around looking for “American Mall” billboards.

I had heard from my brother Ryan and my friend Patty that there were several buses driving around greater Los Angeles with “American Mall” posters on them — Ryan said he even had the oddly surreal thrill of seeing my name scroll into view outside the window of the El Pollo Loco where he was eating breakfast! Ha! — but until yesterday I had not seen any of these posters for myself.

So, like all first-time screenwriters, I cruised Sunset Blvd. stalking buses and looking for billboards for my new movie. And to my amazement, I actually found three gigantic billboards within a few blocks of one another in the heart of downtown Hollywood.

The easiest one to spot was towering over a shockingly-clean Mobil gas station on the corner of Sunset and LaBrea. This was also the easiest billboard to take pictures of as they had a parking lot…yeah!

Next up was a billboard perched way up high on an office tower near Sunset and Las Palmas. This one was harder to shoot as I had to hurriedly park in a red zone, ignore the glaring Cholo gangbangers at the bus stop nearby and snap away. Yikes…don’t try this at home.

And finally, the last billboard I found on my adventure was placed right on top of a really lovely little “rooms-by-the-hour” motel about half a block from Las Palmas. Kind of a seedy locale for a squeaky-clean poster like ours, but hey, at least they had a parking lot!

So, as the mumbling homeless couple on the corner stared at me like I was crazy, I just smiled and thought to myself…hey, if you squint real hard, you can almost see my name! Yeah!

Red carpet re-enactment…

Since a number of you have requested better, more detailed pictures of the ruby red Michael Kors heels Christine wore on the red carpet last week, we decided to stage a red carpet re-enactment. So, here, for your viewing pleasure are a couple of much better, totally staged, pics of Christine’s shiny, red-carpet-ready Mary Janes. Enjoy!

Leave Rumer Willis al-o-o-ne!

For some strange reason my ancient WGA strike-era blog post “Golden Globes Update” has been inundated with literally hundreds of hits a week (sometimes a day!) in the past month or so. Looking into the matter I discovered that at least sixty people a day were finding our blog after doing a google search for last year’s Miss Golden Globes herself, Rumer Willis. I know…huh??

Since this made me even more curious, I did a little web investigating and found out two things. One, Ms. Willis — the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore for those of you unaware of her Hollywood lineage — is starring in her first big-budget movie, “The House Bunny” which comes out later this month.

On a totally unrelated note, I know the movie looks kinda goofy, but I will so rent it in a couple of months. Seriously, I think Anna Faris (the titular Playboy bunny in the film) is screamingly hilarious! I kid you not, amigos, she can make even the worst movie funny. Really, she’s that good. But, back to Rumer…

The second thing I discovered in my web investigation is that Ms. Willis has also been the subject of some pretty nasty internet buzz about her looks. And while no one has commented on my blog about this, I’ll bet you dollars to donuts that’s what’s bringing in the hits lately.

So, for all you Rumer Willis haters out there, I say, LEAVE RUMER ALONE! Yeah, she’s got a big ass chin, but she is still really cute and after watching her chat up that old gas bag Al Roker on the Today Show this week, Christine and I are total fans. Ms. Willis was charming, funny and totally entertaining.

I can’t tell you yet if she can act her way out a paper bag, but hey, not being to act never stopped her parents from having long, storied Hollywood careers. So, there’s always hope!

And honestly, I am kinda dying to see how Rumer’s “House Bunny” character goes from nerd in bedazzled body brace — that’s her on the far left in the group pic — to super cute blonde (above) in the course of two hours! If that’s not acting, I don’t know what is!

Oh yeah, and just for the record, Ms. Willis was recently re-crowned as this year’s Miss Golden Globes since she was robbed of the chance to hand out shiny awards at last year’s strike-shuttered “press conference”. So, go on with your bad self, Rumer Willis! See you in January…

“American Mall” magazine ads

Thanks to several of my readers and a very cool e-mail blast from my Aunt Debbie, I discovered that there were full-page “American Mall” ads popping up in several magazines this week. So, being the cheap bastard that I am I took my camera down to Costco and snapped a few pics from Us Weekly, People and In Touch magazine, and then headed home to blog about it. So…enjoy!

Oh yeah, and just for the record, I did purchase the rest of the items in my shopping card. Costco bagels rock!