Monthly Archives: May 2008

My New Obsession…Ravelry!

Farmer’s Daughter Bean here again with some online obsessing of my own…

My friends Tevana and Nic have been trying to get me to join this thing for months and this week I finally did! Join Ravelry.com that is! Ravelry is an online knitting/crocheting community where you can keep track of your yarn, tools, and pattern information, and look to others for ideas and inspiration.

The content on Ravelry is all completely user-driven and though the site is still in beta, so far it has been super easy to use. And now…I am hopelessly addicted! All I think about is adding my stash — yarn stockpiles for those of you not in the “know”– books and pictures of my completed projects to the site.

Another thing I really like about Ravelry is that you can see what other people have made from the same patterns you have or the same yarn. If you even ever thought about knitting or crocheting before, you have to check this site out…it’s quite fascinating!

So far I’ve listed all of my books (shown in the pic of my virtual library shelf above) and about 50% of my needles (below). As for adding my yarn stash inventory, I haven’t even skimmed the surface of that yet. Maybe that’s because doing so would require that I finally clean out my overflowing craft closet! Eek…

I think my favorite thing about Ravelry right now is that it gives me something to “nerd out” on while Tom re-watches the “Lost” Season Finale for the fifth time and obsesses over tracking down our “missing in action” Wii Fit — which still hasn’t arrived from Amazon!

So, while Tom fires up the Tivo one more time, off to Ravelry I go…

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“Lost” opens the coffin…

Wow. Just finished watching the “Lost” Season Four finale and though there were a couple times where I really wanted more answers, I gotta say, they tied up this season with a bang! My one complaint is that unlike some of the shocker endings on previous seasons, this year’s send-off had kind of an unfinished, “Empire Strikes Back” ending.

I’m not complaining, but I described it to Christine as being midway through a great book only to have it taken away from you for three months! Ahh! Sure they showed us who was in that damn coffin, but, in classic “Lost” style the show introduced dozens of questions for every one they answered. And though that probably frustrates the hell out of some people, that’s fine by us, baby!

Dissecting the show’s intricate, ever-changing mythology is one of the chief thrills of “Lost” for us…so the more layered and weird it gets, the more we love it!

And while I don’t wanna give too much away for those that are hoarding the season finale on their Tivo’s for the weekend, I am bursting to nerd out about some of juicy new developments that played out on last night’s show.

So, that said, if you don’t wanna read any “Lost” spoilers, thanks for checking out the blog but, please…STOP READING NOW.

OK, so how about that Desmond and Penny reunion!? Awesome, right? Something tells me that Ben — having vowed to kill Penny as revenge for his own daughter’s murder by Widmore’s goons — will try and put an end to their happiness in upcoming seasons, but for now, rock on “Lost” power couple!

And the island moving thing? Whoa…could that have been any damn cooler? Not only was the sound incredibly unnerving, but the look on the faces of everyone who watched it disappear was kinda priceless. Also, are we the only people in America that picked up the budding sexual tension between Sawyer and Juliet? Hmm…wherever the hell they end up, I think I see some sparks flying.

Also loved Kate’s creepy dream sequence. The whispers in the dark, the door opening downstairs, and then that backwards-talking voice on the phone — a tip of the hat to the iconic Man from Another Place on “Twin Peaks” — the whole thing was almost insanely terrifying.

And the site of Claire lurking ghost-like over Aaron’s bed…holy shit! I just about lost it! Christine feels that Claire’s presence in the dream answers the “is she or isn’t she dead” queston…but I’m not so sure. If you look at her forehead, Claire isn’t wearing the bandage she had on in the cabin.

But then again, who even knows when this dream is supposed to be happening? Is it the future? Or, wait, is the future now the present…? Who knows? Either way, it still scared the pants off us both!

Another thing that really broke our hearts was Sun’s anguished screaming on the helicopter. Man, give that chick an Emmy already…she rocked!

And her “chance” meeting with Widmore in London was even cooler. For some reason, it seems she and Jin are not huge fan favorites in the “Lostie” community…but we love them both, so, we were very glad to see her being so proactive in getting back to the island. And using daddy’s money to do it is just plain brilliant! Go, Sun!

Another reason we’re rooting so hard for Sun to succeed is that we — well, actually, it’s more me than Christine — still think there is a chance that Jin survived that hellacious explosion on the boat. I know, I know, it was a big old boom, but hey, is this not the same son-of-a-Korean-fisherman who survived an exploding boat in Season One?

And for that matter, didn’t Michael also survive said explosion? If you ask me, my odds are on the two of them living to see another day. Speaking of Michael, one of the many harebrained theories that I’ve been bugging Christine about since the show began was also given a huge boost last night as well.

See, I have thought for a long time that perhaps some sexual shenanigans went down between Sun and Michael when they first got to the island. Not sure if you remember, but there was a scene, way back when, where Michael “stumbled” upon Sun undressing and when she turned to face him, she didn’t seem all that eager to cover herself…know what I’m saying?

So last night, with a bomb ticking madly away in the hull of the ship, Sun takes the time to tell Michael that she is pregnant?? Weird, huh? And the long beat before he replied was even weirder. I might just be imagining things, but notice how they didn’t show the kid when she phoned home before meeting Widmore. Maybe it’s because Sun’s baby is…bum, bum, bum…Black! Just an idea…

Also, gotta say I loved the final Dharma training video for “The Orchid”. It was so fun to see that Asian dude explaining everything again…and the “time-traveling bunny” was amazing! Loved the look on Locke’s face as Ben kept piling all that metal shit in the machine…classic!

And what was the deal with the crazy-eyed redhead from the boat, Charlotte, talking about “finding where she was born”? Hmmm…as Lewis Carroll’s Alice — clearly a major influence on the writers — would say: “Curiouser and curiouser.” Love the fact too that former ship-mate, the ghost-hunting Miles knows something about her too. Very cool!

And finally…the coffin. Christine and I figured out the identity of the coffin’s occupant long before the big reveal, but it was still fun to see John Locke all dolled up for the afterlife. Love the fact too that the writers chose the name “Jeremy Bentham” for Locke’s off-island pseudonym.

I checked both Wikipedia and Lostpedia (I know, nerd partol!) and just as I suspected, Bentham, like the real-life John Locke, was a famous English philosopher. Oh, you crafty “Lost” writers…

Now, if Christine and I could just find a time machine of our very own to help us fast-forward through the summer and see what happens next…all would be right with the world!

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Season Finale night on “Lost”

Yeah! Nothing gets the bad taste of lame “Indiana Jones” sequels out of my mouth faster than the prospects of watching three full hours of “Lost” tonight! OK, technically, there are only two new hours of show, but ABC is re-airing the episode from two weeks ago with “new footage” so you know we’ll watch that too!

Now, for those of you still making your way through the previous season’s DVD collections at home — Mom and Courtney — I know you’ll get the urge to skip the horribly uneven Season Three and get to the meat of Season Four. But resist that urge! For while Season Three sucked ass most of the time, there are some moments of true greatness and I think Season Four plays better because of it.

But if you are a little behind in your “Lost” viewing (for whatever reason), I should also advise you to STOP READING NOW as I wouldn’t wanna spoil anything for you. That said, here we go…

First off, while Season Three of “Lost” played like the last years of J.J. Abram’s wildly uneven “Alias” — which we loved for two seasons and then truly despised for two more! — Season Four has been pitch-perfect at every turn.

Shocking, exciting and sometimes, even heartbreakingly beautiful — did you not shed a tear when Sun and Hurley visited Jin’s grave? Wow…sad! — this season on “Lost” has been the best yet.

Whether it’s the fact that the strike-shortened seaon forced the writers to trim the fat on this last batch of episodes or knowing that the show will end after two more 17-episode seasons, the writing this year has rocked hard!

I missed a bunch of episodes while in Santa Fe and every time I talked to Christine on the phone about it, she was literally flipping out: “Hurry home! You gotta watch these so we can talk about them!” So, once I got home, I planted myself in front of that Tivo and watched all five episodes in a row. And let me tell ya, Christine was right…Season Four was on fire!!

Seriously, not since “The X-Files” or that first magical season of “Twin Peaks” have I been so excited about a TV show’s mythology. And though they didn’t have fan sites — or even the internet for that matter! — when “Peaks” first aired, I have even taken to religiously following some of the “Lostie” theory and picture sites online. I know, nerd-tastic!

Speaking of, if you really want your brain to hurt, check out the time travel theories and timelines on TimeLoopTheory.com. I read through the whole thing the other night and my head was swimming. If even one of this dude’s theories are true…wow, just…wow.

For me, the mythology on “Lost” has always been compelling, but in this past season, it has taken the show in whole new directions — time travel, the idea of a “constant”, the “Oceanic Six”, Jacob and the other half-dead inhabitants of his cabin, etc. — that are just kind of…jaw-dropping. Really!

When the curiously-ageless Richard showed up in the flashbacks to visit a young John Locke and saw his child-like drawing of the island’s black smoke. Holy crap!! We just about fell off the couch screaming!

And when Richard then proceeded to give little Locke a strange Dalai Lama-like reincarnation test — he presented Locke with a knife, a compass, a comic book and a vial of sand and asked him to pick which items were his — we were mesmerized. The fact that John failed the test was even more compelling. What the hell does all this all mean?

Hopefully we’ll get some answers tonight, but with two seasons left to go, I kind of doubt it. But with the show operating on all cylinders, as it has all season, I ‘m sure they’ll give us something juicy to savor over the long summer break.

And even though we don’t have any grand plans for a Dharma Initiative Party — which looks and sounds like a blast! — with the prospect of John Locke “moving the island” on tonight’s episode, we are bracing ourselves for some pretty crackling good action on “Lost” tonight!

Ooo, gotta go…the show’s starting. Yes, we have a Tivo, but this is one show that demands “live viewing”. So, see ya in my next flash-forward…

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“Indiana Jones” @ the Arclight

After all the Indiana Jones build-up last week, you’d think I would have written at least something about the experience of seeing the actual movie by now, right? Well, as much as I’d like to say that I loved “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” so much that I’ve been busy hurrying back nightly to see it again…sadly, that is not the case, amigos.

The main reason I haven’t written about the movie yet is that there is practically no movie to write about. No there…there, so to speak. More of a preview for what I’m sure will be some very cool video games and theme park attractions than an actual movie, “Crystal Skull” is everything I hoped it would not be.

After the movie ended, while stumbling numbly to the parking lot…wait, I take that back, “numbly” would imply that we actually had emotional feelings about this crapfest, I think a better word would be indifferently. So, while stumbling indifferently back to our car I said to my brother: “Well, at least it wasn’t as bad as “The Phantom Menace”, right?”

Shaking his head, Ryan pointed out something surprisingly wise considering the late hour. He said that while “Menace” was a huge disappointment, it at least had the promise of two other movies to come. And, the artistic value of the subsequent “Star Wars” prequels aside, that is totally true.

I mean, love it or hate it, “Menace” did have Darth Maul and the fascinating — and up to that point, never before mentioned! — concept of midi-cloriens: the little unseen mystical thingies that make up the Force.

And not only did Anakin Skywalker have a buttload of said midi-cloriens flowing through his body, but it was even alluded to that the annoying little “chosen one” from Tatooine was born of the Force itself. Wow! Now that is cool idea. And though he tried really hard at every turn, even musty old George Lucas couldn’t make that shit boring!

Unfortunately, “Crystal Skull” has none of those elements. And worst of all, it is really, really slooooow. At least “Raiders” started out big with the whole imploding temple bit. And that rock rolling after Indy? Kind of an iconic moment! But this movie opens with a groan and just keeps getting worse as it goes…

Of course, there were a few bright spots. Karen Allen looked great and it was really awesome to see her in a movie again. I thought Cate Blanchett was entertaining and despite the hisses from the rest of our party at her vicious scenery-chomping, it was very clear to me that she was having fun. And, hello…isn’t the queen of doom and gloom Oscar-bait allowed to have a little summer movie fun now and then? That’s right, you rock that crazy “Rocky and Bullwinkle” Russian accent, chica!

Speaking of over-acting, John Hurt — who I usually love — is also very strange in this. But hey, the summer blockbuster brigade isn’t exactly pounding on his door all the time either, so I cut him some slack.

On a positive note, Shia LaBeouf’s character, “Mutt”, didn’t totally suck. His Marlon Brando routine was lame and the fact that he had his name embroidered on his leather jacket was, well…kinda gay, but LaBeouf’s a great actor, and his chemistry with Harrison Ford was pretty nifty too, so it worked.

And while Ford still managed to work some of that Indiana Jones magic in spots — particularly during a scene involving Allen’s character and some quicksand! — overall, he felt more like a cartoon character than a real man.

I know, I know, the series isn’t exactly realistic, give Dr. Jones a break. But hey, realistic or not, audiences made some pretty big leaps of faith in the earlier movies too…I mean, come on, do you think anyone but Indiana Jones could hang onto the top of a Nazi submarine all the way to a secret island hideout? Please. But we were so into the movie back then that we bought it!

That is not the case in “Crystal Skull”. Here, the leaps of faith just seem bigger and way too hard to swallow. I won’t spoil it for you by going into detail, but there are at least two things that Indiana Jones does in this movie that defy the laws of physics in such a huge way that the audience actually laughed. And no, it was not in a good way.

Anyway, love to hear what the rest of you thought of the movie, so comment away. In the meantime, enjoy these pics I took of some of the cool promo posters and props they had strewn about the lobby of the Arclight. I know it’s hard to tell from the picture, but those giant banners above were actually draped down the entire length of an office tower on Sunset, cool, huh?

So, my advice is that if you live in Los Angles and you’re itching to see “Crystal Skull” on the big screen, see it at the Arclight. That way if you totally hate the movie — which you will — you can drown your sorrows by snapping some fun pics of Mutt’s groovy motorcycle in the lobby on your way out.

Hell, it worked for me…

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Sydney Pollack (1934-2008)

Christine and I were both very sad to hear that legendary, Oscar-winning director/producer, Sydney Pollack passed away on Monday at the age of 73. Diagnosed with cancer nine months ago, Pollack died at his home in Pacific Palisades surrounded by his family.

I had been a fan of Pollack’s mid-career movies for years, especially “Out of Africa” and “The Way We Were” — which our family watched almost every weekend on movie night — but it wasn’t until I was in film school at AFI that I got a true appreciation for what a bang-up director he really was.

The first time I saw “Three Days of the Condor” I was kind of blown away. The quintessential paranoid 1970’s political thriller, this movie not only rocked hard, but it changed the way espionage movies were made.

Starring frequent collaborator and longtime-friend, Robert Redford, Faye Dunaway and a creepy Max von Sydow as the ultimate Euro-heavy, “Condor” shot to the list of my all-time-favorite movies overnight. And even though it came out in 1975, this taut, suspenseful thrill ride is anything but dated.

In fact, the timeless stylistic influence of “Condor” can be felt even today in scores or like-minded knockoffs (“Munich” and the “Bourne” movies to name a few) and even in last year’s vastly underrated “Michael Clayton”, which Pollack co-starred in and exec-produced.

What I liked most about Pollack’s films was that they weren’t flabby. There was nothing extra, no fat, just tight action, romance, adventure or whatever and some damn fine acting to boot. If you can compare him to anyone, he kind of reminds me of John Huston, who, ironically, also acted in several of his own films.

Like Huston, Pollack was a visceral, masculine director who could take something as potentially cheesy and syrupy as “The Way We Were” and make it real and authentic. Other directors might have skated by on the sheer star power of Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford, but not Pollack.

His skillful direction — and a knockout script by Arthur Laurents and an an uncredited David Rayfiel — turned these potentially larger than life characters into living, breathing people, who we loved and hated, sometimes in the very same scene. Hell yes, you still cried at the end, but those tears were earned, baby.

A master of the silent emotional scene, Pollack also knew when to back off and let his movies breathe and this was never more apparent than in “Out of Africa”. Arguably his best known film, “Africa” — which won an amazing seven Oscars, including Best Picture and Best Director for Pollack — has some of the most beautiful dialog-free scenes ever put to film.

Sure the airplane close-ups are totally blue-screened, but “Africa”, like John Huston’s classic “The African Queen” makes those lingering nature-filled silences speak volumes about the characters. I mean, wow, when Meryl Streep grabs that handful of sand at the end, you can almost feel that shit in your palm. Amazing…

And “Tootsie”? Wow…words can’t describe how influential this movie was to me as a kid. Every scene is comic writing gold. I remember laughing so hard when we first saw it that my brother and I missed most of the jokes and had to see it again the following weekend. Hilarious!

And though I wasn’t a huge fan of several of his recent directorial efforts — “The Interpreter”, “Random Hearts” and the Redford-starring bomb “Havana” — the bold, daring choices Pollack made as a producer never ceased to amaze me: “Sliding Doors”, “The Talented Mr. Ripley”, “Cold Mountain”, “The Quiet American”, “Sense and Sensibilty”, “Iris” and the mind-blowing “Michael Clayton” to name just a few. True, these movies weren’t always huge hits, but, man alive, they were always interesting.

Even cooler than his choices as a producer were the films Sydney Pollack chose to act in. Sure, his roles in his own movies always rocked — his performance in “Tootsie” alone sealed his street cred as a talented thespian in my eyes! — but I absolutely loved him in other people’s movies too.

My favorite will always be his loutish turn as Woody Allen’s newly-divorced friend in Allen’s pitch-perfect “Husbands & Wives”. Because of it’s unfortunate timing — the movie came out at the height of the Mia-Woody-Soon Yi mess — I think “Husbands” has always been kind of overlooked. But any true Woody Allen fan will tell you that this is one of his best movies ever.

And Pollack’s work here was just as worthy of Oscar attention as Judy Davis’s in my book. The scene where Pollack fights with his way-too-young-for-him girlfriend at a party is so real it’s almost painful to watch. And knowing that he was such a cool dude in person makes me appreciate his acting even more.

Sometimes, just the mere presence of Pollack in a movie or TV show lent the whole affair some class. “The Sopranos”, “Will & Grace”, “Frasier”, hell, I even liked him in “Changing Lanes” and that movie — which I half-watched on an airplane — was so God-awful, I wanted to pull the exit door open and jump out.

But I think my favorite memory of Sydney Pollack will be the time I spent listening to him speak at one of the Harold Llyod Master Seminars at AFI in 1994. Christine had snuck in with me to watch “Three Days of the Condor” on the big screen and stayed for the entire seminar.

Speaking onstage for about an hour and a half, Pollack talked about his favorite movies, his directing style, why he directs, actors, anything and everything you could imagine…and it was absolutely riveting. Trust me, I sat through a lot of those seminars, and Pollack’s was one of the best, and mostly that was due to the fact that the man, like his movies, was real.

Not only was Pollack a joy to listen to, but he projected such warmth and generosity of spirit that he totally endeared himself to both Christine and I forever more. And while I can’t speak for all the burgeoning film students that were in the theatre that day, I can tell you for damn sure that the super cool Sydney Pollack left his mark on me.

So, rest in peace, amigo. You will be sorely missed…

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Bean’s Roasted Beets & Beet Greens Salad w/Feta

Farmer’s Daughter Bean here again, and this time, I made something really good…hooray!

So, after my sunken cupcake debacle yesterday, I was a bit worried about trying out another new recipe, but I had picked up some really beautiful beets at the Farmer’s Market by my work and didn’t want them to go to waste. So after finally selling Tom on the idea of a roasted beet salad for lunch, I got to work…

First off, I should mention that I’ve never cooked beets before. But after scouring the internet for recipes, I cherry picked my favorite elements from each and then hoped for the best. And thankfully, my second experimental dish of the day turned out to be one of the tastiest things I’ve made in a long time.

And the healthy factor is kind of through the roof with this meal as beets — although not technically a “super food” — are amazingly good for you. I highly recommend them!

Now, the recipe below is a little time consuming, but, trust me, it’s not a lot of work and the pay off is amazing. My skeptical husband Tom liked it so much, he even had seconds! So, happy cooking!

First, roast the beets at 400º F. I used 2 bunches and cut any that were larger than a golf ball in half or quarters. You can peel them before or after they’ve roasted, but I’ve found it’s easier to peel them after. Plus, that way they retain all that juicy beet skin flavor.

Cover them with foil and cook for 30 minutes, then remove the foil and cook for an additional 15 minutes. When they are done cooking, peel them with a paring knife and cut into smaller pieces.

For the greens, cut or tear into 2 inch pieces, then thoroughly wash and dry (they can be a little wet). Mince 2 cloves of garlic and slice 2 – 3 green onions. In a large pan, heat 1 tbsp olive oil. Add the onions and cook for 1 minute, then add the garlic and cook for another minute. Add the greens and some salt & pepper. Cook for about 2 minutes or until tender.

Combine the beets and the greens in a bowl and add more salt and pepper to taste. Finish it off with 1 tbsp each of balsamic vinegar & olive oil and then toss to combine. Plate and then crumble some feta over the top and serve. Delicious!

Serving sizes can vary, but this recipe above served the two of us for lunch. If it was a side dish, it would probably be enough for 4 people. Anyway, let me know if you try it and, as always…happy eating!

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Almond Butter Cupcake Disaster

Hey again, Farmer’s Daughter Bean here with another “make” post. Only this time, what I ended up making was a bit of a disaster.

Earlier this week, Tom came up with the brilliant idea of making some “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” cupcakes. I would make the cupcakes, he would make tiny crystal skulls out of marzipan to put on top and we would have “Indy 4” cupcakes to enjoy while waiting in line to see the movie. It all sounded so fun…in theory. The reality was something much worse.

To start with, I have given up sugar and white flour, so I needed to come up with an alternative. Sounds easy, right? Plenty of people substitute agave nectar for sugar, so I picked some up at Trader Joe’s and got to work. I figured the white flour shouldn’t be too hard to replace either, so I used some oat bran and almond meal instead. That doesn’t sound too bad, does it?

Oh yeah, and did I mention that the cupcakes were supposed to be Peanut Butter? But since I’m not eating that either, I just switched it out for some tasty Trader Joe’s Almond Butter instead. So far, so good. Everything went smoothly and even Tom agreed that the batter tasted really good. Sorry I didn’t take pictures of the process, but I was too wrapped up in everything to even think about bringing a camera into the mix.

Coming out of the oven, they didn’t look half bad. I’ll admit the tops were a bit sunken in, but they still looked like cupcakes. So, I let them cool and decided to taste one before frosting them. They didn’t taste bad, but the spongy texture was kind of strange. Tom said they tasted like “hippie” and something tells me that was not a compliment.

To me, they had more of the texture of a bran muffin than a cupcake. In hindsight, I think oat bran is just way too course of a substitute for white flour. Sadly, instead of Peanut Butter Cupcakes, I ended up with “hippie” Almond Butter Muffins, and weird one’s at that.

I did make some frosting too but that was an even bigger disaster, so I won’t even get into that. Tom called it “chocolate soup” and even I had to admit that’s kind of what it looked like. It tasted great, but when you coupled it with my sunken cupcakes, it was not a pretty sight.

As you can probably imagine, Tom never did get around to making those crystal skulls either (sorry, Indy). As for me, I think I’ll skip the substitutions in my cupcake recipes and stick to dark chocolate and fruit when I’m craving something sweet. Or better yet, I’ll just make proper oat bran muffins next time out!

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Closing Ceremonies: Cannes 2008

Film-geek Francophiles everywhere rejoice!

For the first time since 1987, a French film, “The Class” — a drama about a teacher challenged by his tough, inner-city students in one of Paris’ roughest junior high schools — has taken home the prestigious Palm d’Or at the Cannes Film Festival. Rock on, Frenchies!

And that was the first of many surprising wins at this afternoon’s closing ceremonies, where the Jury seemed to take iconoclastic Jury President Sean Penn’s recent statements to French daily Le Monde to heart.

Urging his fellow jurors to “do just the opposite” of the Oscars “where manipulation and very good marketing are rewarded” Penn implored the Cannes jury to honor compelling, unconventional films instead, and man alive, did they take his advice to heart!

And not only are the winners interesting and totally unique — I’m not entirely sure what short film winners “Megatron” and “Jerrycan” are about, but cool titles! — but the presenters were even cooler.

Not only did two-time Oscar-winner Robert DeNiro hand out the award for the Palm d’Or to director Laurent Cantet (he’s the grey-haired dude in the pics with his “The Class” cast, above), but legendary expatriate — a previous Palm d’Or and Oscar-winner for “The Pianist” — director Roman Polanski presented the Grand Prix award to Italy’s Matteo Garrone for “Gomarra”. Cool!

And while I’m sure conspiracy theorists will have a field day with the fact that two of Monsieur Penn’s famous friends took home major awards — Benecio Del Toro for Best Actor in Steven Soderberg’s four hour-plus “Che” and Special Jury Award winner Clint Eastwood for his upcoming film “Changeling” — I like to think the jury did the right thing.

So, check out the complete list (and mad links!) of 2008’s Cannes winners below, and until next year’s shiny festival on the Riviera…vive le France!

PALME D’OR
“The Class” directed by Laurent Cantet

SPECIAL JURY AWARDS
Catherine Deneuve and Clint Eastwood

GRAND PRIZE
“Gomorra” directed by Matteo Garrone

BEST DIRECTOR
Nuri Bilge Ceylan, for “Three Monkeys”

BEST SCREENPLAY
Brothers, Jean-Pierre and Luc Dardenne, for “Lorna’s Silence”

BEST ACTOR
Benicio Del Toro, in “Che”

BEST ACTRESS
Sandra Corveloni, in “Linha de Passe”

CAMERA D’OR
“Hunger” directed by Steve McQueen

CAMERA D’OR SPECIAL MENTION
“Everybody Dies But Me” by Valeria Gaï Guermanika

BEST SHORT FILM
“Megatron” by Marian Crisan

SHORT FILM SPECIAL MENTION
“Jerrycan” by Julius Avery

SPECIAL JURY PRIZE
“Il Divo” by Paolo Sorrentino

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Abel Ferrara @ Cannes

Even though I am not a huge fan of his strange, but often-interesting films, and his teeth in the pictures below kind of scare the hell out of me, I gotta say that for the first time in years, controversial writer/director Abel Ferrara and I see eye to eye on something…

But before we get to that, a little background on the freaky-deaky indie icon himself. The quintessential New Yorker, Ferrara, like so many offbeat American directors, is kind of worshiped by the French. Not only has he been a regular fixture at Cannes over the years, but several of Ferrara’s recent films — which have never even had a theatrical release in the U.S. — premiered in France.

So it was no surprise to see him soaking up the French love on the red carpet for the world premiere of his latest cinematic opus, the star-studded documentary “Chelsea on the Rocks”. Detailing the gloriously seedy past and uncertain future of this landmark NYC hotel, the doc is said to contain some of Ferrara’s best work to date…so, rock on, Abel!

But the biggest shocker to come out of Mr. Ferrara’s multiple press conferences at Cannes was the news that someone is inexplicably remaking his twisted masterpiece “Bad Lieutenant”. Yep, you heard me…remaking! Insane, non?

Even more surprising is the talent attached. The new version of Ferrara’s 1992 classic is going to be directed by German “madman with a camera” Werner Herzog with…hold onto your tainted badges, folks…Oscar-winner Nicolas Cage starring as the titular police man. Yep, Jerry Bruckheimer’s hambone royale himself is gonna be tackling what is arguably one of Harvey Keitel’s finest cinematic performances.

My question is…why, God, why? I mean, love it or hate it — we did both, sometimes at the very same time — the infamous “Bad Lieutenant” is one of the most well-regarded independent films of the 1990’s, so, if you ask me, remaking it is kind of a sacrilege.

And with Nicolas Cage no less!? Yikes…here’s hoping Herzog does the world a favor and cuts that whole full-frontal nude scene…

And though I’m not quite as passionate as Mr. Ferrara is on the subject — he told the French press on Friday that the people involved should “die in hell” and vowed to “strangle every one of them” if he ever sees them again — I understand the dude’s outrage. I mean, really, any way you look at it, this lame, totally unnecessary remake is gonna suck some serious ass. I say…long live the original flawed masterpiece that is Abel Ferrara’s “Bad Lieutenant”.

And while I wait to check out his cool-sounding “Chelsea on the Rocks” documentary for myself…here’s to you, crazy old Abel Ferrara, late night genre movies would be a very boring place without you!

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Tarantino Master Class @ Cannes

I’m not sure what all Oscar-and-Palm d’or-winning director Quentin Tarantino had to say in his Cinema Master Class at Cannes yesterday, but, from the looks of the picture below, I’ll bet it was fun!

Always interesting, the Cannes Cinema Master Class has been a staple of the festival since 1991. And in that time, the event has been hosted by such kick-ass filmmakers as Sydney Pollack, Martin Scorcese, Oliver Stone, Nanni Moretti and even my boy from Hong Kong, Wong Kar Wai. Cool, huh?

Apparently totally free and open to the public, the Cannes Master Class is a chance for world-class directors to talk about their process, the films they’ve made and in the case of Tarantino, the fact that he thinks every serious director should take an acting class. Hmmm…a novel concept…

So, though I couldn’t be there to applaud Tarantino in person, I’m sure the French film fans — who love him almost as much as they do Woody Allen — ate it up! Rock on, QT!

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Countdown to “Indiana Jones 4”

Reviews be damned…I am literally counting down the hours and minutes till we get to see “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” tonight at the Arclight. By my last count, I have 5 hours and 46 minutes to go…and even though that sounds like a short time frame, when you’re really excited about something…it kinda seems live FOREVER!

Christine keeps telling me not to get too excited as I might be in for another bout of soul-crushing, post-“Phantom Menace” depression if the movie sucks…but you know what, I don’t care. I mean, sure “Menace” sucked, and I did weep openly for days afterwards, but I lived through it — even seeing it twice on opening weekend! — so nothing Lucas pumps out can ever burn me that bad again.

Of course, I haven’t seen “Crystal Skull” yet, so, that might change come Saturday morning…but either way, I’m just excited about the fact that the movie is finally coming out! So, back the breathless waiting…

I guess the best thing about the wait this week is that it did give me time to watch some of the previous Indiana Jones movies on DVD. I’m about half-way through “Temple of Doom” right now, and even though I know most people hate this one, I gotta say that is the one I probably watched the most as a kid.

Even then I knew it was kind of racially insensitive and downright lame in parts — especially the God-awful Kate Capshaw, who never could hold a candle to Karen Allen in my book — but I still loved it! Hell, even that annoying little Shortround kid even grew on me after a while…

So, as I try and finish up the trilogy before we head out tonight in our dusty fedoras and whips — just kidding about the whip part, I do have a fedora, but I doubt Christine will let me sit next to her if I wear it! — I’ll leave you with some of the super cool pics from Sunday’s world premiere of “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” at Cannes…enjoy!

Oh yeah, and if anyone out there knows who the hot African-American chick (pictured above and bellow in yellow) with George Lucas is…drop me a line.

I’m not sure who she is, but any way you look at it, that fetching young lady is a huge upgrade from Lucas’s first wife, Oscar-winning “Star Wars” editor Marcia Lucas, so…rock on, Jedi Master George!

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First Lady Laura Bush in L.A.

Even though I have some serious problems with the way her husband has run this country for the last eight years — or should I say NOT run as “President” Cheney has made most of the big decisions — I gotta say I was still kind of thrilled to meet Bushie’s wife, First Lady Laura Bush and daughter, Jenna Bush-Hager yesterday afternoon at an invite-only reading and booksigning of their best-selling children’s book “Read All About It!” at downtown’s Central Library.

With tickets snapped up almost as soon as the last-minute event was announced last week — Veronique Peck, widow of actor Gregory Peck is a huge supporter of the Library Foundation and the First Lady appeared as a favor to her — seats were pretty hard to come by for non-Foundation members, but luckily for me, I know someone on the inside!

For the new readers out there, my “connection” is my wife Christine, who runs the Library Foundation’s super cool Library Store.

But even Christine couldn’t manage to get me a seat at this event. So, seeing as I couldn’t get inside the old fashioned way, I decided to volunteer to help Christine sell books outside the Auditorium before the reading. Then, thanks to some awesomely-timed cancellations, Christine, her co-worker, Natalie, and I were able to score some primo seats at the reading for ourselves. Yeah!

Introduced by the crazy chic Veronique Peck — seriously, this chick has a French accent Catherine Deneuve would kill for! — the First Lady and Jenna Bush took the stage and read aloud from their charming, if a tad slight, book. And though both Bush ladies were gracious and sweet as Texas BBQ on the outside, there was a reserve there that made things seem a bit stilted at times.

And the Q & A that followed was even stranger. Since most of the pre-approved questions were from the scads of cuddly Esperanza Elementary School second graders in the front row, they were anything but hard-hitting. I didn’t think the kids would grill the First Lady on Guantanamo Bay or anything, but I guess I expected a little more from the whole thing than “Is the White House like a mansion inside?”.

I’m not saying they weren’t cute — because those kids are ready for commercials, baby…seriously, the cutest kids you ever saw! — but the simplicity of the questions, coupled with the almost rehearsed quality of the answers made for kind of a snoozy twenty minutes.

After the Q & A, the ever-present Secret Service — who were way nicer and funnier than you would expect them to be! — lined everyone up for the booksigning. Since Christine, Natalie, and I still had lots more books to sell, we headed back out front to man the booth, and when the lines finally died down, we made our way to the stage.

Now before you ask me why I didn’t get a picture of myself or Christine with either of the Bush beauties, l should tell you that cameras were totally forbidden onstage. But since strange, random questions were not, I picked a doozy!

Smiling as first mother, then daughter signed my three books, I asked the First Lady if she and the President were planning on seeing “Indiana Jones 4” this weekend. Chuckling, she replied that they just might as the President asked her the other day “What movies are we gonna watch this weekend?”. Hilarious! Good to know that despite his abysmal record as a Prez, he can still enjoy himself some good old Lucas/Speilberg hijinks!

But even more amusing than the First Lady’s response was the reaction of First Daughter Jenna. Shooting me kind of a confused look, she asked. “Is that coming out this weekend? Wow…I’m really behind the times!” And then, totally unprompted, Jenna announced that the summer flick she was most looking forward to seeing was the upcoming “Sex and the City” feature. Ha!

I just kind of nodded lamely and said something like: “Yeah, that looks pretty good too…” But by then, Natalie and Jenna had begun talking about Jenna’s necklace, which she said was a handmade gift from her twin sister, Barbara — I know…handmade? Who knew the Bush’s were artsy? — and as the line was backing up behind me, I left the stage with my books.

So, while it was brief, I must say that my personal audience the better half of the First Family was actually very cool, and both women were way warmer and down-to-earth than they had appeared during the reading and Q & A. But perhaps my favorite part of the day was yet to come…

While gathering up the receipts and heading back to the store, we checked the green room — which had been sealed off to everyone but the secret service and the First Lady’s handlers since earlier that morning — once more for anything we might have left behind and found a lovely, untouched fruit salad that had been intended for the First Lady and Jenna.

Now, I ask you, if you were in my shoes would you not eat that poor abandoned fruit salad? I mean, come on, how often is an opportunity like this gonna come along? Needless to say, quicker than you can mouth the words: “Tomás loves free food!” I grabbed that salad and headed for the exit.

And later, in the comfort and privacy of Christine’s office, the three of us enjoyed the hell out of that fruit salad. Sure the magoes were a bit hard, but hey, this was presidential grade fruit and we were not gonna miss out on a single bite!

And even sweeter than the oranges in that rocking good fruit salad was the perfectly-placed anti-Bush sign we spotted on the freeway overpass just a few exits from the Library on the way home.

Now, I don’t know who put that sign there or even if they knew the Bush’s would see it on their drive north to Burbank to appear on “The Tonight Show”, but I think it’s pretty telling that the “anti” slash is only through the “W”.

See, even crazy, freeway-sign-protesters love the First Lady…and now, after meeting the former Texas librarian and her recently-hitched, “Sex and the City”-loving daughter in person…I can see why!

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David Cook wins “American Idol”

Wow…if you told me last night that I would be typing the words above tonight, I would so not have believed you. I mean, seriously, any true “Idol” historian will tell you that traditional wisdom totally favored David Archuleta to win…but traditional wisdom was thankfully nowhere to be seen last night at the Nokia!

And in a stunning upset over his elfin, 17-year-old rival, Archuleta, David Cook, the 25-year-old former bartender from Tulsa, Oklahoma won the title of “American Idol” last night in Los Angeles.

Not only did our boy Cook win, but he won BIG…to the tune of 12 million more votes than Archuleta. And when you consider that a whopping 97 million votes were cast on Tuesday night — an “Idol” record! — the victory is even sweeter. Sure, Archuleta was a good-to-great singer, and as I said earlier, I will totally buy his inevitable cheesy Christmas CD when it comes out, but, as far as I’m concerned, America finally got their “Idol” picking right this time!

Christine and I were out last night and got home so late that we had to fast-forward through much of the show — especially those shameless Mike Meyers promos for his lame-ass new movie — but even in our hyper-tired state, we were both left kinda breathless by the show’s stunner of a twist ending. Christine was like: “Did he just say…David…Cook?” We literally had to rewind to make sure we heard Ryan Seacrest correctly. And as luck had it, we did!

So, bravo, David Cook…you deserve it, brother! And another huge shout out to everyone who voted on Tuesday night — shockingly, we did not vote as we kind of figured Archuleta had it in the bag — for making the last few minutes of the traditionally-bloated season ender so f-ing thrilling!

Seriously, “Idol” hasn’t had a switcheroo ending this big in years! And while the bartenders of America scramble to concoct a drink in Mr. Cook’s honor — come on, you know they will, he’s one of them! — I’ll sign off with a line from our favorite creepy, soft-core billboard for “Gossip Girl”…OMFG!

Que viva el idolo nuevo, David Cook!

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A Tale of Two Davids…

Tried “live blogging” last nights epic showdown between the two Davids on “American Idol”, but honestly, I couldn’t stop watching the show long enough to write. Yes, it was that good! And no matter how strongly you support one over the other, I think America is gonna have a hell of a time picking between these two enormously talented, but radically different singers.

As you know, like Wendy and my Aunt Debbie, Chistine and I are big time David Cook supporters, but I have to admit that I really dug the first two songs David Archuleta sang last night as well.

Christine will say it’s the old man in me talking — she delights in saying that Archuleta is “Seventeen going on seventy” — but I gotta tell ya, man, I was digging me some smooth Archuleta grooves last night.

Starting with Elton John and Bernie Taupin’s classic “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me”, that creepy little kid was kind of amazing. And though he didn’t “sing his face off” as Randy later described David Cook doing, Archuleta worked magic with his second song, the awesomely cheesy “In This Moment”. Seriously, if this kid ever puts out a Christmas song with this much over-produced melodrama…well, move over “Christmas Shoes”, cuz I’m gonna be all over that shit. I Loved it!

That’s not to say that David Cook didn’t rock the Nokia Theatre himself, because he totally did. Opening with a super cool, crowd-pleasing cover of U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”, Cook had the rock star thing going for him in spades. And the thing I dig most about him is that, unlike previous “Idol” rockers like the humorless Chris Daughtry and kind of snoozy Bo Bice, Cook has heart to spare.

Seriously, just thinking about the songs Cook could write on his own after he breaks free from the “Idol” shackles on his second album kind of gives me goosebumps. Christine, who loooves him, says Cook is the most heartfelt, real “Idol” since Kelly Clarkson, and seeing as Kelly remains our favorite past “Idol”, that’s some mighty praise indeed!

Cook’s second song, “Dream Big”, was even cooler. Pop rock at it’s best, the song had a jaunty Avril Lavigne meets the All-American Rejects vibe — yes, that’s a compliment as, aside from sappy Christmas songs, I also loves me some cheesy pop — that was kind of infectious! And man, did he rock that stage, totally showing the world what kind of fun, radio-friendly tunes he’ll churn out in the years to come!

Round three was more difficult for both singers with Archuleta dredging up his tired, crusty rehash of “Imagine” and Cook working what magic he could with a fairly decent cover of Collective Soul’s “The World I Know”. As expected, Christine loved Cook’s version of the song, but I really think both him and Archuleta peaked on their second songs, which, I might add, were written especially for them.

And even though we both found the Michael Buffer opening totally groan-worthy — if I never him say “Let’s get ready to rumble” again, I’ll die a happy man — I gotta say our inner Olympic nerds kind of loved the Olympic backstory montages with narration by Olympic legend, Jim Lampley. And who could resist the site of lechy old Andrew Lloyd Webber drooling all over the Davids at the piano. Yikes…Sir Andrew could give his “Phantom” a serious run for the money in the creepy old man department.

At the end of the night, stunt guest stars and lame boxing analogies aside, it was a pretty decent penultimate show for the aging “Idol” franchise. And no matter who wins tonight, you can be damn sure they’re both gonna sell more records than the show’s bizarre, “ghost of Christmas future” closing act, Season Two winner, Ruben Studdard.

I’m sorry, but trotting the second weakest winner in “Idol” history onto the stage to sing us out was just weird. It’s like the producers were issuing a warning to the two Davids…watch out, guys, or you might end up like Ruben, or God forbid, Taylor Hicks. Scary…

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“Ashes of Time: Redux” @ Cannes

I know, I know…another post about Cannes. Sorry, but I told you…I’m kind of obsessed right now. The good news for all you non-movie fans out there is that the Festival wraps up on Sunday, so, I’ll get back to more juicy “eat”, “do”, and “make” posts very soon.

Speaking of “eat”, wait till you see the Key Lime pie I had in Tampa…amazing! Anyway, back to the shiny film fest on the Riviera…

So, the big news on Sunday was all about the world premiere of “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls” — more on that later, but for the record, we ordered tickets today for the Friday night show at the Arclight — but for fans of legendary Hong Kong director Wong Kar Wai, the night was all about the premiere of his re-cut 1994 masterpiece, “Ashes of Time”.

And since “Ashes” is one of the few films of WKW’s that I have not seen — aside from his recent English-language disaster “My Blueberry Nights” — I’m kind of dying to see this definitive, extended version of what many consider to be his first truly great movie.

Though the dreamy, retro vibe of his later films was still years away — if you haven’t watched the Criterion Collection DVD of “In The Mood For Love” you are missing out, man — “Ashes of Time” was the first of his films to really stand out from the rest of the Hong Kong “wuxia films” of the time.

Starring WKW regulars like Tony Leung, Maggie Cheung and Brigitte Lin, “Ashes” is said to be anchored around the central performance of the late, great Leslie Chung (“Farewell My Concubine”). And though Chung was sorely missed by WKW and the rest of the cast at the Palais on Sunday, I can assure you he was there in spirit as he is said to be amazing in the movie.

Interestingly enough, WKW’s longtime-collaborator, iconic cinematographer Christopher Doyle — who is rumored to have had a spectacular falling out with the director after working with him for the last time on “2046” — was also in attendance. And not only was he there — he is the white dude in the pictures above and below — but he held hands with Wong and the cast as they made their way to the theatre as well. Cool!

Here’s hoping that the rift is over and that Doyle returns to the WKW fold for his next film. And in the meantime, knowing that the “Ashes of Time: Redux” was so well received at Cannes gives me hope that a stateside theatrical run might be just around the corner as well!

Or at the very least, maybe I can start dreaming about a special edition DVD — are you listening, Criterion? — to add to my kick-ass Wong Kar Wai box set, pictured below. Either way, long live the king of Hong Kong cool!

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Ambassador Hello Kitty

Every once in a while a major news event is so pressing that Christine actually takes the time to e-mail me a link to the article from her work. And yesterday was no different…

So, the minute my wife learned that Hello Kitty, fashion icon to generations of cool, puffy-sticker-loving hipsters everywhere, was named Japan’s official Ambassador to Tourism with China and Hong Kong, she shot me an e-mail.

And despite the fact that most of us are still nursing those Chococat birthday party hangovers — his birthday was May 10th, and yes, he is a boy, I checked the website — Christine and I both rejoiced at the news that Sanrio’s Queen of Cute had a brand new title and a nice shiny plaque to go with it.

Kitty, who will be 34 on November 1st — no, I did not know her date of birth by heart, I had to check that too — was said to be delighted by her recent honor and was looking forward to serving her homeland with pride. I’m not exactly sure what she’ll be doing in her new role — seeing as she’s not real and all — but hey, real or not, who doesn’t love that crazy cute cat?

So, rock on, Tourism Ambassador Hello Kitty! Long may you reign…

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Confessions of a Cannes nerd…

Judging from my last couple of posts, you’ve probably already figured this out, but, for the record…yes, I am a total Cannes Film Festival nerd. Sure, I get excited about Sundance and Toronto and even the Los Angeles Film Festival — the only one I’ve ever actually attended! — but nothing for me is as exciting as Cannes.

I don’t know, maybe it’s because those cinema-mad Frenchies are such big fans of some of my favorite writers and directors.

Only a handful of American films have ever won the Palm d’or, and almost across the board, they were made by some of the coolest, most idiosyncratic filmmakers in Hollywood. Robert Altman (“Mash”), Martin Scorcese (“Taxi Driver”), Francis Ford Coppolla (“Apocalypse Now”), Bob Fosse (“All That Jazz”), the Coen Brothers (“Barton Fink”), Quentin Tarrantino (“Pulp Fiction”) and David Lynch (“Wild at Heart”) are just a few of the American winners to date, and the list of cool foreign films that snagged the top prize is even more impressive.

Unlike the Oscars, who’s crusty old members will throw a Best Picture Award at bloated schlock like “Crash”, Cannes juries are more discriminating and the movies they screen and honor with awards at the festival are much more interesting because of it.

For instance, aside from a Best Original Song nomination for Bjork, Oscar voters totally ignored modern classics like “Paris, Texas” and “Dancer in the Dark”, but not Cannes, baby. “Texas” and “Dancer” both won the Palm in their respective years and the Cannes jury even gave Björk a well-deserved Best Actress award.

And one of my all-time favorite writer/directors, Jim Jarmusch — who shockingly, has never even been nominated for an Oscar! — has been in the running for the Palm d’Or a whopping six times. And that’s just the nominations, Jarmusch’s list of Cannes wins could fill books.

Aside from taking home the lesser, but still prestigious, Camera d’or for his seminal “Stranger Than Paradise”, Jarmusch also won a Grand Jury award for “Broken Flowers”, a short-film Palm d’or for “Coffee and Cigarettes III” and a special award for “Best Artistic Contribution” for his seriously-underrated “Mystery Train”. As my French friends would say…incroyable!

And the writing awards at Cannes are even more eclectic. They doesn’t give out a screenplay award every year, but when they do, the juries at Cannes pick some really amazing scripts…stuff that is often totally overlooked by other festivals, the Academy and hell, even the WGA.

Genre-bending classics like “Nurse Betty”, “The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada”, “Henry Fool”, “Volver” and even James Schamus’s pitch-dark swinger dramedy “The Ice Storm” are just a few of the rocking good screenplays to win at the Cannes Film Festival.

So, while I haven’t ever climbed the grand staircase at the Palais du Cinema in real life, I have followed the festival for years from abroad, and man alive, what a nerdtastic trip it’s been!

Vive le cinema! Vive le Festival de Cannes!

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Woody Allen @ Cannes

Even though his last movie, “Cassandra’s Dream” totally sucked — this despite featuring a uniformly excellent cast, including Ewan “Obi Wan” McGregor, Colin Farrell and the scorchingly-hot newcomer, Hayley Atwell — I am still a die hard Woody Allen fan.

And the fact that every other movie he makes is horrible will not stop me from seeing just about everything he makes. The way I see it, Allen makes enough movies that he can make a real clunker every other time out. As long as someone keeps giving him money to write and direct and super cool actors keep on signing up to work for him for scale…I say rock on, Woody!

And though my favorite films of his are mostly from the 1980’s — “Hannah and her Sisters”, “Broadway Danny Rose” and “A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy” — there are at least three other movies of his from every recent decade that I love in a big way. And I’m just talking about his major works like “Bullets Over Broadway” and ” “Deconstructing Harry”, but I also love me some minor Woody Allen as well…”Manhattan Murder Mystery” anyone? Classic!

Non-fans may see Allen’s recent “Anglophile period” as just another tired (if accented) rehash of his usual shtick — and though “Match Point” ranks with his finest work ever, I’d have to agree with them on “Scoop” and the aforementioned “Cassandra’s Dream” — but despite the misfires, I actually found it kind of exciting that he was trying something new for a change.

So, you can imagine how excited I was to read that Allen’s next cinematic venture, “Vicky Cristina Barcelona”, was shot entirely in Spain, featuring mostly Spanish actors. Even cooler than that is the fact that the movie received a ten-minute standing ovation after it’s premiere this weekend at Cannes! Ten minutes…man, those Frenchies rule!

Starring Oscar-winner Javier Bardem, Oscar nominees Penélope Cruz and Patricia Clarkson, newcomer Rebecca Hall (pictured on Allen’s left in the pic with Cruz, below) and Allen’s recent way-too-young-for-him muse, Scarlett Johansson, the movie revolves around the complicated love life of a Spanish painter (Bardem) juggling affairs with three different women.

Let me see…all-star cast, shot in Spain and it’s a comedy…gloria a Dios. Welcome back, funny Woody!

Always hugely popular in France, Allen worked the European press this weekend like a pro. And when asked if he himself had ever tackled a threesome — as Bardem apparently does with Cruz and Johansson in the film — he replied: “You know, it’s hard enough to get one person”. Ha…I think Mia Farrow would disagree on that one, but you gotta love the dude for trying.

And while “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” — which comes out on our shores on August 29th — is not eligible for any major awards action at Cannes (having screened out of competition) I’m still counting the days till I can give the movie a ten-minute standing ovation of my very own right here in Burbank.

Vive le Woody!

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Nine Inch Nails: “The Slip”

Let me start by saying that I am, at best, a casual fan of Nine Inch Nails. I mean, sure, I bought “The Downward Spiral” just like every other grubby, unwashed, flannel-shirt-wearing film student in 1994. But since then, I just haven’t really bought much of Trent Reznor’s music.

It’s not that I don’t dig his work, because I totally do — his songs on David Lynch’s “Lost Highway” soundtrack are so awesomely scary, you’ll never sleep again! — but for whatever reason, he’s just not one of those people that I follow religiously. But after checking out the band’s latest album, “The Slip”, I might just have to change my tune!

Not only does “The Slip” recall the raw, grungy, feedback-heavy NIN of yore, but it is also infused with a really mellow vibe that is kind of dreamy. Oh yeah, and did I mention that the album is available to download online for FREE?

Yep, like my boys Radiohead and Coldplay before him, the creepy cool Mr. Reznor has hopped on the free music bandwagon in a big way, and I’m happy to report that he does not disappoint.

“The Slip” kicks some industrial-strength ass, and aside from making for some rocking, mood-tastic music — I’ve had it on in the background all day and I’m still loving it — this might just be the NIN album that brings you back into the Reznor fold. I mean, hell, it worked for me…

While the entire album rocks, my favorite is the second track “1,000,000”, which is so cool and so gritty, you’d swear you were hearing it live. And with several format choices available for download at NIN.com — I opted for the high-quality MP3 version, but true audiophiles will probably be more inclined to download the higher-than-CD quality 24/96 WAVE version — you practically are.

Interestingly enough, while enjoying my free NIN tunes today, I came across another free online album the band released in March called “Ghosts I-IV”.

Almost entirely instrumental, Reznor said at the time that “Ghosts” is the kind of music he always wanted to make and give away for free, but never could till now. Awesome! I have only downloaded the first nine songs so far — the entire 36-track album ranges in price from $5 for the basic MP3 tracks to $300 for a super deluxe edition — and they are gorgeous. Haunting, melodic, the tracks practically shimmer…really, it’s beautiful.

So, while I go unearth my flannel shirts and buy the rest of the tracks from “Ghosts I-IV”, I urge you to check out both of the free NIN downloads for yourself. As Reznor writes on the download page for “The Slip”: “We encourage you to remix it, share it with your friends, post it on your blog, play it on your podcast, give it to strangers, etc.”

And while I haven’t gotten around to remixing it yet, I am telling you guys about these two rocking free downloads, so I guess that counts.

Que viva la free music revolutíon!

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Top-Ten Dead Celebrity Millionaires

For the seventh year in a row, Forbes magazine announced their top-ten (actually, top-thirteen) dead celebrity moneymakers for 2007. Not a lot of surprises here, although I don’t what kind of merchandise Steve McQueen’s estate is shilling these days…but it must be making some serious bread as he cracked the top ten!

Also glad to see a couple of writers/cartoonists and a fine artist in the mix as well…but what gives with only one woman making the top thirteen? Jeez, man…Natalie Wood’s estate needs to get the Fraklin Mint on the horn and start selling some commemorative plates and shit, pronto.

And speaking of selling cheesy stuff, where’s Lucille Ball on this list? You can’t walk through an airport gift store nowadays without seeing tons of “I Love Lucy” crap for sale…hmmm…maybe those greedy old estate lawyers are skimming a little off the top or something.

Either way, here is Forbes’s list of 2007’s top dead celebrity millionaires, accompanied by some rocking Warhol-lite portraits from their website. Enjoy!

13. James Dean – $3.5 Million

12. Bob Marley – $4 Million

11. James Brown – $5 Million

10. Steve McQueen – $6 Million

9. Marilyn Monroe – $7 Million

8. Tupac Shakur – $9 Million

7. Dr. Seuss (Theodore Geisel) – $13 Million

6. Andy Warhol – $15 Million

5. Albert Einstein – $18 Million

4. George Harrison – $22 Million

3. Charles M. Shultz – $35 Million

2. John Lennon – $44 Million

And finally, the number one celebrity wage earner from beyond the grave is…

1. Elvis Presley – $49 Million

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Cannes gets a little Lynchian…

Though he’s not vying for another Palm d’or at this year’s Festival, Cannes favorite David Lynch — who won the Palm for “Wild at Heart” in 1990 — made quite a splash on the riviera yesterday with the debut of his super cool poster for this year’s fest.

Haunting, strange, and strikingly beautiful, the poster is the textbook definition of the term “Lynchian”…and apparently, film geeks everywhere are eating it up.

I thought about ordering a print for myself, but wall space being at a premium in my already cluttered office, there is just no more room for another cool poster. Plus, even though I love the print, those “man hands” carressing that woman’s face kind of give me shivers, so I’ll just post a copy of the poster here for now…

Though the Americans are said to be taking this year’s festival by storm, with “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” set to have it’s world premiere on Sunday, and a number of other highly-anticipated films from American directors lined up after that, the big news for me this year is the jury!

Always composed of some really cool, eclectic film folks — one of my all-time favorite directors, Wong Kar Wai served as Jury President a couple years back — this year’s panel is headed by perennial hot head Sean Penn. Even though I personally think he’s a humorless prick, I gotta say, “Into the Wild” was one of my favorite films last year…so, rock on, sourpuss!

The rest of the jury — pictured below with Penn at last night’s premiere of Fernando Meireilles’s all-star supernatural thriller “Blindness” — are, from left to right: Director Alfonso Cuarón, Actor Sergio Castellitto, Author/Director Marjane Satrapi, Actress Jeanne Balibar, Director Rachid Bouchareb, Director Apichatpong Weerasethakul, Actress and former Queen of Naboo, Natalie Portman and finally, Actress Alexandra Maria Lara.

I know…crazy, huh? The guy who wrote and directed “Children of Men”, the chick who literally lived “Persepolis”, Madonna’s first husband, and the mother of Luke and Leia Skywalker…all on one jury? Wow…it’s like, movie nerd nirvana!

So, as the 61st Festival de Cannes settles into it’s first full day of screenings today, here’s hoping this years films are as interesting and diverse as its rocking poster and jury! Vive le France!

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Edwards endorses Obama!

Despite his crushing defeat in yesterday’s West Virginia’s primary, Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama — pictured below in a rocking Photoshop tribute by über blogger Kevin Chu — managed to score another major endorsement today, this time from ex-rival John Edwards.

And though I still wish Edwards himself was a part of this race — go, Tar Heels! — I gotta say that with Johnny Edwards joining the ever-expanding roster of powerful Dems endorsing Obama (hell, even Clinton’s political mentor George McGovern has announced his support for Obama!) Clinton seems destined for a VP position, at best, at this point.

And I’m not saying that would be bad…I mean, even Clinton supporters have gotta agree that an Obama-Clinton ticket would be damn near unbeatable come November. Of course, I’m sure she’d rather be on top of that ticket, but hey…she’d make a damn fine VP too. I mean, shit…after eight years of President Cheney making most of the decisions in Washington, it’d be kinda cool to have co-Presidents who actually know what they’re doing this time around!

But until Clinton accepts the inevitable and joins Obama to rule the galaxy as President and Vice President she can take comfort in some of the really cool things Edwards said about her today.

Sharing the stage with Obama at a rally in Grand Rapids, Edwards said: “She’s a leader in this country not because of her husband, but because of what she has done.” and gushed further that: “We are a stronger party because Hillary Clinton is a Democrat.” Whoa…talk about your Southern charm! Edwards might have stabbed Clinton in the back, but man, he did it with style!

Seriously, though…I couldn’t agree with Edwards more. Hilary Clinton (and Obama) have made this battle for the Democratic presidential nomination one of the most electrifying in recent memory. I mean, think about it, people who’ve never voted in their lives are actually getting up off their asses and voting…in primaries! Amazing!

So, keep on keeping on, Jedi Master Obama. The Force is clearly strong with you. And something tells me that it’s only a matter of time before you are joined on the ticket by Vice Jedi Master Clinton…or at least I hope so.

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Celebrate “Taco Libre” tonight!

With the new county ordinance threatening the lifeblood of Los Angeles’ beloved taco trucks set to take effect on May 15th, tonight has been declared “Taco Libre!” night by our amigos at saveourtacotrucks.org.

And though we won’t be able to make the festivities ourselves — we hit two different taco trucks on Friday night alone, starting at one in Highland Park and then ending our evening at our old stand-by, Tacos La Fonda, in NoHo — I urge anyone who has not been out there supporting the cause to head out to East L.A. tonight for a few tasty street tacos.

Tonight’s event will be held at the Tacos El Galuzo taco truck at 5555 Whittier Blvd. and promises to be a total fiesta for the record books. I mean, how can a party with a poster as cool as the one above NOT be memorable?

So, print up a copy of the poster for your collection (we did!), sign the petition here, and head on out to East L.A. for some rocking good grub!

Que viva los Taqueros!

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Free Vanilla Honey Bee @ HD!

Hot on the heels of the recent Thirty One Cent Scoop Night at Baskin Robbins comes yet another reason for ice cream fans everywhere to rejoice…and this time, it won’t even cost you thirty one cents!

That’s because today only, from 4-8pm, participating Häagen-Dazs stores are offering FREE scoops of their brand new flavor, Vanilla Honey Bee. Yep, you heard me…totally FREE. And as luck would have it, there happens to be a Häagen-Dazs just down the street from my brother and sister-in-laws’ house in Glendale. So, guess who we’re sharing our free scoops with later tonight?

Hoping to bring much-needed attention to the plight of the disappearing honey bee — over the last few years honey bees have been mysteriously vanishing and/or dying off at an alarming rate due to a strange phenomenon known as Colony Collapse Disorder — Häagen-Dazs didn’t just create a yummy new flavor to honor the bees, but they also started a very cool movement on their website: helpthehoneybees.com.

Aside from some really cute graphics — I thought the bees with little picket signs (above) were so awesome I had to share them with you– the site is packed with information and articles on the world’s current honey bee crisis and is dedicated to helping support the honey bee and sustainable pollination research programs at Penn State and UC Davis.

I don’t know if you’ve read up on any of this stuff, but wow…some of the articles on the subject are kinda “end of the world” scary, primarily because bees play such a vital role in our whole circle of life on this planet. I mean, without bees, we’d be in some seriously deep shit, my friends.

So, check out the site, donate some cash if you can, but most of all, get out there and spread the word…one free scoop of ice cream at a time! Go, bees!

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“Days of Heaven” on DVD

Criterion Collection geeks rejoice…the company that makes excellent films even better on DVD has done it again with the lush, sprawling epic that is Terrence Malick’s “Days of Heaven”.

Though this version of the 1978 classic was actually released on DVD last year — for the first time ever in an amazing widescreen transfer — I just finally got around to watching the copy I got for Christmas and let me tell ya, it’s beautiful.

Although I still consider “Badlands” to be Terrence Malick’s finest hour as a writer/director — don’t even get me started on his more recent works, “The Thin Red Line” and “The New World” which both bored me to tears — “Days of Heaven” is, hands down, the most Terrence Malick of all of Malick’s films.

Meaning that not only is “Heaven” absolutely gorgeous to look at — with all that flowing yellow wheat, and those breathtaking magic hour sunsets — but juxtaposed against all that glistening nature is a wry, out-of-left-field voice over by the film’s pint-sized star, Linda Manz, that is vintage Terrence Malick.

Even the most jaded Malick-haters out there — and trust me, I met plenty of them when I was at AFI, Malick’s alma mater — have got to admit that Manz’s hilariously deadpan voice over is probably the finest ever put to film. And considering Malick worked similar magic with Sissy Spacek’s rocking VO work in “Badlands”, that is really saying something.

For while Manz may not have as much screen time as her co-stars — Richard Gere, Brooke Adams and a shockingly young Sam Shepard channeling Gary Cooper big time — Linda Manz and her haunting voice over are the heart of soul of “Days of Heaven”.

Opening in the fiery steel mills of post-WWI Chicago, the movie begins with Gere’s character accidentally killing the foreman at his plant in a fit of rage. Accompanied by his younger sister, Manz, and girlfriend — a positively luminous Brooke Adams — Gere sets out by train for the Texas panhandle.

Hoping to avoid the questions of prying strangers, Adams poses as Gere and Manz’s sister and the trio soon finds work harvesting wheat on a fairy tale farm owned by the handsome, soft-spoken — not to mention, terminally-ill — Sam Shepard. When Shepard falls in love with Adams — I mean, come on, who wouldn’t? She’s like, a force of nature in this movie — things get kinda complicated and quicker than you can say “biblical plague of locusts”, everything falls spectacularly apart.

And while the story itself is filled with enough juicy melodrama for ten movies, the dialog — save for Manz’s aforementioned VO — is surprisingly sparse. Malick said at one point that he wanted “Heaven” to be like a silent film for the modern-era, and that is totally what he created here.

Simple, lush, beautiful, the movie is told almost entirely through it’s visuals and they are truly amazing. You will literally wanna frame every shot of this movie. And if you think you’ve seen “Days of Heaven” on video before…well, think again. This Director-Approved Criterion print will literally knock your socks off!

And the extras are even better. Aside from a very cool audio Q & A with Gere (recorded exclusively for this edition of the DVD) and a brief onscreen interview with Shepard (from 2002), there is also a rocking feature length commentary with legendary Art Director Jack Fisk (Mr. Sissy Spacek), Editor Billy Weber, Costume Designer Patricia Norris and Casting Director Dianne Crittenden.

But the highlight for me was a pair of video interviews with the men behind the cameras; Camera Operator, John Bailey and Cinematographer, Haskell Wexler. Bailey, who went on to become a very well-known cinematographer in his own right, speaks very highly of “Heaven’s” original Director of Photography, the late, great Nestor Almendros.

Not only did Almendros win an Oscar for his work on “Days on Heaven”, but, astonishingly, he was also going blind at the time! I know, crazy…huh?

And make sure and stick around for Bailey’s demonstration of how they shot some of those super cool locusts shots like the one below. Painting peanut shells black, the crew dumped them from an airplane onto the actors, then reversed the film to make it look like the “locusts” were rising from the wheat in mass. Wow…who needs CGI when you got guys like Bailey around? Awesome!

Even more interesting than that is the truly bizarre interview with Almendros’s co-cinematographer, the notorious “mad man with a camera”, Haskell Wexler. From the get-go it’s clear that Wexler is completely bonkers, but even though everything he says is totally crazy, you will not be able to keep your eyes off him. This is probably the strangest DVD extra I’ve ever seen, but I loved it!

That said, I urge you to run down to your local video store or click on over to your Netflix queque and give this modern classic another look. Or if you haven’t seen it before, then, you know, a first look. Either way, it’s well worth the time…

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Mud – NYC’s Best Street Coffee

When our friends Mike and Patty returned from a recent trip back east, they came home with tons of cool pictures, mouth-watering tales of the finest sub sandwich in Jersey, and best of all…a pound of dark roast Mud Coffee as a belated birthday gift for me. Yeah!

Being a lifelong West Coaster, I had never heard the legend of the bright orange Mudtrucks of New York’s East Village, but after trying some of this rocking coffee…I can’t wait to check it out in person sometime!

And not only is the coffee the best earthy, hippie brew you ever had — Mud actually sells a Hippie Blend, but my pound was the darker roast, Mudtruck Blend — but the packaging is so cool you almost wanna frame it!

According to their super fly website, the Mudtruck’s journey began in 2001, when newlywed co-founders Nina Berott (a former ad exec) and Greg Northrop (a former musician) parked their first bright orange Mudtruck just a few feet from the 6 train stop in Astor.

Surrounded by green-logo-ed corporate coffee chains on all sides, the odds of this funky, converted lunch truck making it were slim, but the coffee was good, the tunes from the boombox rocked and the vibe was just right. So, almost overnight a caffeinated legend was born…

Seven years later, Mud coffee is sold in hipster haunts all over the city and as well as adding another Mudtruck to the fleet, there is also a bricks and mortar locale dubbed the Mudspot on East 9th Street between First and Second Avenue.

Mmm…something else to look forward to sampling when Christine and I finally make the trek out to NYC.

For now, I guess I’ll have take comfort in my last few cups of this delicious Mudtruck blend and hope that someday soon, those rocking orange Mudtrucks make their way to my neck of the woods…

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Olympic torch scales Mt. Everest!

Anyone who knows Christine and myself knows that we are huge Olympic geeks. I’m not kidding, we literally do not leave the house when they’re on. We Tivo EVERYTHING, and though we are total suckers for those “pull the strings” video bios on the athletes, we are also kinda crazy about the lesser events in the games. Seriously, the weirder the sport, the more we love it.

I actually watched every curling event during the 2006 Winter Olympics in Torino. Especially the women’s, which, my apologies to American skip Pete Fenson, was always way more dramatic than the men’s games.

And while I could go on for hours about the dramatic final “end” (round) of the Gold Medal match-up between the Women’s Curling teams from Sweden and Switzerland — Sweden won, thanks to an amazing last-minute double take-out by their skip, Anette Norberg — I’ll spare you the details and simply say that we loves us some Olympics. My football-crazed friend Matt actually jokes that my favorite sport is Olympics…and he’s right!

So, you can understand our conflicted feelings this year when there has been so much drama about China hosting the Summer Games in Beijing. I mean, on the one hand, I feel kinda bad for the Chinese people. Here they finally score an Olympic games and all everyone wants to talk about is Tibet.

But on the other hand, why the hell did the International Olympic Committee (IOC) even grant them the opportunity to host the games in the first place? I mean, was China any less suppressive a few years back when they were selected to host the games? Hell no! If anything, things were worse then. So, why reward such bad behavior by allowing them to host the games at all? Crazy!

Of course, this is the same organization that held the 1936 Olympics in Nazi Germany, so, I guess their record isn’t so hot. But, in my mind, the blame for this whole mess lies entirely on the IOC’s doorstep. As a hugely powerful organization, with the ability to take a stand for human rights by the very nature of their picks, they simply should not have picked China to begin with.

Or, perhaps they could have said: “Hey, China, we’ll pick you if you clean up your act.” At least that would have sent the message to the world. Treat your people right we’ll let you host the games…treat your people like hell and you get zip.

But since the IOC did neither of these things, we are now officially stuck with China as a host country. And as a super fan of the games, I think we might as well just accept the fact that the “bad guys” are hosting this year’s Summer Olympics and get on with it.

I’m not saying we should be happy about it or that we should not try to blow out that torch when it passes through our cities — rock on, SF! — but hey, the games are gonna happen one way or another, and if you’re a fan of the games and not the country where they are being held, well…you’re probably gonna watch them. Or, at least we are…

Anyway, since there has been so much controversy about the Olympic torch relay the last few weeks, I was kind of thrilled to see something good being written about it today when I read that Chinese hikers had lit the Olympic flame at the peak of Mt. Everest. And better yet, the woman who held the flame at the top of the peak was ethnic Tibetan, Ciren Wangmu. Rock on, Tibet!

I know what you’re thinking…propaganda much? Of course China let a Tibetan woman carry the torch the last few feet…what else they gonna do at this point?

But, whether it was a callous PR stunt or not, the fact that hikers climbed to the top of Mt. Everest with the Olympic flame secured in a little can and then lit a series of torches in the howling wind and snow at the top of the world is still pretty damn cool in my book.

Check out the video feed from the adventure at: Reuters.com and if that grainy, un-subtitled footage of those Chinese hikers schlepping up that mountain with the flame doesn’t fill your heart with the spirit of the games, then, well…maybe you just don’t like the Olympics, my friend.

Seriously though, that video is the spirit of the games in action, and even if you don’t support China’s heavy-handed tactics or their recent crack down on Tibet, you gotta admit that what happened on the rooftop of the world this morning is perhaps the first true Olympic moment of the games. Awesome!

The photos are taken from a number of sources online, many thanks to the brave photographers who weathered the cold to get them!

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Pack your bags, Jason Castro…

OK, I promised myself I would not blog about every twist and turn of fate on this season’s “American Idol”, but after witnessing Jason Castro’s spectacularly awful performance last night, well…I kind of had to say something. Simply put, this tuneless poser sucks!

Sure at the beginning of the show Christine and I were charmed by his funky look — Dreadlocks? On “Idol”? Cool! — and goofy personality, but over time we have come to see that everything about this dude is as fake as Ryan Seacrest’s tan.

We might hate that eerily sexless — not to mention soulless — David Archuleta kid for being too slick and manufactured, but we despise Jason Castro for acting like he’s something he’s not. I mean, love him or hate him, Archuleta at least knows what he’s angling for — a comfortably cheesy Clay Aiken-ish career — but Castro has taken “Idol” phoniness to an all time low.

There is literally no substance to Jason Castro whatsoever. He doesn’t know shit about music, he doesn’t care about anything to do with the show — Entertainment Weekly reported that he was bored with the show and missed several rehearsals last week because some of his friends were in town…really, dude? During finals?! — and worst of all, he has absolutely no concept of how lucky he is to have made it to the final four.

As far as I can tell, the one and only reason this loser is still on the show is because of that damn hair. But something tells me that the hair has carried him as far as it can. After his epically bad rendition of Bob Marley’s classic “I Shot the Sheriff” on last night’s show, even the audience seemed puzzled. I’m not kidding, it was probably one of the worst performances in “Idol” history…and that, my friends, is really saying something.

So, here’s hoping Simon’s parting words to the dreadhead ring true — he told a bored-looking Castro to “pack [his] bags” during last night’s show — and that the prophetic pic above comes to pass during tonight’s elimination episode.

In the meantime, I’ll have to take comfort in my fervent hope that America did the right thing last night and sent Castro packing, but as Seacrest pointed out on last night’s show…you never know. This is the week that fan-favorite’s Tamyra Gray and Chris Daughtry went home on their respective seasons as well…so, really, anything can happen.

Keeping that in mind, Christine voted for her favorite David Cook ten times last night and I gotta admit that I hit the old redial button a whopping 60 times for my favorite, Syesha Mercado. The thing that makes me hate Jason Castro even more right now is that I got through every time I called. Poor Syesha…

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The AMPTP walks out…again!

Replicating the strategy they used with us writers last year, the cheap bastards at the AMPTP have walked out of the negotiating room (again!) eighteen days into their negotiations with the Screen Actors Guild (SAG). Claiming that SAG’s “unreasonable” demands for modest increases in payments for DVD sales and online downloads has left them with no other choice but to discontinue talks “at this time”.

And so, true to dickhead form, the AMPTP abruptly suspended talks with the actors, even after SAG announced on the website that they were willing to “work around the clock for as long as it takes to get a fair deal” and “keep the town working”. Sounds kinda familiar, huh?

Reverting to their union-busting handbook once again, the AMPTP is rolling out the old “unreasonable” bit in the media — which they totally own, by the way — and playing up the fact that they are also calling off talks to focus on their upcoming negotiations with SAG’s trouble-plagued sister union, AFTRA, which are set to begin today.

Hmm…kinda reminds me of that time the AMPTP abruptly called off talks with WGA leadership to focus on their upcoming negotiations with the Director’s Guild. And if I remember correctly, the AMPTP forged a quickie deal with the DGA and then left us looking like total jerks until we caved — Yes, I said “caved”. God love ya, Patric Verrone, but we totally caved — and took their lousy deal.

Complicating things further for SAG’s rocking negotiating committee — led by bad-ass actor/studio ball buster extraordinaire, Alan Rosenberg — is the fact that SAG and AFTRA had been at war with one another for years.

From what I’ve gathered, the feud centers around the fact that SAG feels they should have more of a say in their wobbly, co-union existence with AFTRA since SAG has more members who contribute more money to the union’s coffers. The far-less-powerful AFTRA — whose members work in such areas as radio, TV news, talk shows, and several soap operas — feels the decision making should remain 50/50 as it has always been. And therein lies the problem.

Many of the SAG members I met on the picket line — several of whom are members of both guilds — have a deep-seated mistrust of anything AFTRA does. And tensions grew so strained a few months back that AFTRA decided — for the first time in 27 years! — to break off from SAG and negotiate a new contract with the AMPTP on their own. Hmm…as Yoda would say: “Unwise this decision was.”

What really sucks for the actors is that now that talks with the AMPTP have predictably “stalled”, the studios are going to use their negotiations with AFTRA — as they so masterfully did with the DGA — to show how quickly the process can work when so-called calmer heads prevail.

Of course, AFTRA is so weak — with their concerns literally light years away from SAG’s — that they’ll probably take whatever crappy deal the studios shove down their throats. And if recent history repeats itself, I foresee the AMPTP joyously announcing a finalized deal with AFTRA in a week at the most. Hell, AFTRA hates SAG so much at this point, they might even take a shitty deal just to spite them!

Either way, SAG will be left looking like the “unreasonable” jerks the AMPTP is already painting them as, and they will more likely than not take a crappy deal to save face. I say, screw that! Whatever happens, in the next few days, I urge you, Mr. Rosenberg, to learn from our mistakes and stay the course!

To quote from an impassioned e-mail you yourself sent out to the entire WGA membership during the heat of battle last December: “…we know that this fight is for the rights of all creative artists, and our collective future is at stake. We share your sound and reasonable goals for fair compensation for new media formats and we believe you are doing the right thing by taking a stand.”

Of course when you said “we”, you were talking about actors. But those same words could just as easily apply to writers now. As the pictures above illustrate, you guys were out with us every day during our strike, so, no matter what happens in the coming weeks, know this…we got your backs, man. Seriously, I got a couple dozen red and gray shirts just itching to come out and play!

To paraphrase the finale of your rocking e-mail, Mr. Rosenberg, the WGA “will stand with you for as long as it takes”. So, keep on keeping on, actors…and remember, we’re all in this together!

Oh yeah, and for the record, that’s “Thirtsomething” icon David Clennon with Patty and myself in the first picture; “Freaks and Geeks” star Dave “Gruber” Allen in the second shot; and the fetching Penelope Whidmore from “Lost”, actress Sonya Walger in the final pic. I should also note that I saw all three of the SAG actors above on the WGA picket lines many, many times, so, gracias amigos!

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“Cloverfield” on DVD

Rented the insanely over-hyped Godzilla-lite movie “Cloverfield” over the weekend and all I can say is…wow…what a disaster, literally. This movie sucks so bad that it might just be one of the worst movies we’ve ever seen. And that is really saying something as we see tons of movies.

If the annoying, herky-jerky camera work doesn’t make you wanna hurl, than the acting and dialog surely will. I’m not kidding, the script is so bad you can’t even laugh at it. And this cast of pretty WB/CW rejects is so terrible that Christine and I were actually rooting for them to die.

Not to give too much away, but let me tell ya, when the most annoying character, Marlena, met her end in a spectacularly gory fashion, I literally stood up and cheered. Of course, the way she died — like so much of this crass marketing scheme of a movie — was lifted directly out of another movie (“Alien”) but hey, at least she died, so we were happy.

As for the camera work, yikes. I already have a hard time not throwing up during good movies with hand-held camera work — “Husbands & Wives”, “Breaking The Waves”, etc. — and when the movie is bad, wow, it kind of multiplies the nausea factor by a million.

Now, before you call me a film snob, let me say that bad acting and bad writing I can forgive — we have enjoyed some really bad scary movies over the years — but the biggest problem I have with this movie is that it’s not a movie at all. Seriously, “Cloverfield” plays like an extended YouTube video, and in fact, would probably have been much better had it been confined to three minutes instead of a 84.

You can almost hear the “story and plot be damned” pitch: “It’s BLAIR WITCH meets GODZILLA for the YouTube age”. I kid you not, that’s all it is. There is absolutely no explanation for anything that happens in this movie and the framing device (again clearly stolen from another movie) that this tape was found by the military is laughable.

Trust me, man, if the military found this talky, God-awful videotape, they would do some serious editing and skip to the good parts. Yes, I said good parts. Because this movie has two scenes that are pretty amazing. If you’d like to see the movie for yourself sometime, stop reading now while I discuss them.

SPOILER ALERT: The first scene that is worth checking out is when the monster attacks the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s very cool and totally scary.

And the second (and only other!) scene worth seeing is near the end of the movie when we spy the monster being bombed by the military. Shot from a helicopter as our surviving heroes (if you can call them that) are whisked to safety, it is our only clear view of the monster and it looks pretty damn cool.

And then, just when it seems like he’s beat, the monster jumps up and takes the helicopter down. Wow! This scene isn’t just awesome, but it is probably the only truly original scare in the entire film. Too bad the rest of this boring, crapfest sucks so much ass…

At the end of the day, I guess the best thing I can say about “Cloverfield” is that, thankfully, we saved some money by NOT seeing it in the theater. So, yeah!

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