Those of us who thought things in the “High School Musical” universe couldn’t get any less authentic were thrown for a huge loop recently by the unveiling of “HSM” star Ashley Tisdale’s new nose at a concert in New York over the weekend.
Yep, in the grand tradition of “Dirty Dancing” star Jennifer Grey and the lesser-talented half — and trust me, that’s really saying something — of the Simpson sisters, Ashley Simpson; Tisdale’s face has gone from cute, quirky and unique to totally generic.
While Ms. Tisdale was never the hottest filly in the Disney Channel corral (I mean, come on, she’s no “Cheetah Girl”), she did have something about her that was charming and fun. And unlike the rest of the “HSM” cast, she was actually kind of, you know…talented.
But now, yikes…she’s just another Stepford starlet with a reed thin snout. Denying that she had her schnoz snipped for cosmetic reasons, Tisdale claims that over the years there were times when she “literally almost could not breathe out of the right side of my nose” and that “if I laid down on my right side it was like somebody closed up the right side of my nose.”
OK, first off, please, stop saying “right side”. And secondly, wow, that’s like, Elephant Man scary, Ashley. And if it’s true, then, jeepers, you shoulda fixed that thing ages ago! I mean, breathing is kind of important.
But my guess is that the deviated septum bit is a convenient cover story for Tisdale’s desire to look more “Hollywood pretty”. Well, congrats, Ash, you did it. You now look just like everyone else…
I’m sure tween “HSM” fans everywhere will soon be un-deviating their septums in your honor. Hooray!