Tag Archives: sequels

“TRON: Legacy”

I should have trusted my gut on this one. You know, that little voice that kept telling me not to get too excited because even though it had rad, state-of-the-art (at the time) effects, the first “TRON” kinda sucked too.

Unfortunately, I did not listen to my inner voice and have spent the past few weeks hyping the shit outta “TRON: Legacy” to Christine, who, had absolutely no interest in seeing the movie. Well, what can I say, amigos? Once again, Christine was righter than rain.

“TRON: Legacy” is a bloated, boring, totally derivative peice of crap. I’m not kidding, man, this movie sucks major ass. At least the first flick had the wow factor of the cool “in the grid” effects and all, this movie plays like a soulless, two-hour ad for toys and spinoff sequels and shit. And except for a sparkling, seriously transcendent score by electronica legends, Daft Punk, the movie is a complete and total waste of your time.

I mean, hell, if I — a child of the 80′s who worshipped the effects of the first movie and played the hell outta the “TRON” videogame — hated it, just imagine what non-“TRON” geeks, people like Christine, with no connection to the first film whatsoever, will think of this junk?

Yikes…thanks for ruining another cherished, childhood memory, Disney.

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“The X-Files: I Want To Believe” countdown begins…

Yes, the first movie sucked hard, but despite that cinematic misfire, and the fact that it’s been six long years since Mulder and Scully last graced our airwaves, I am still dying to see the new “X-Files” movie when it comes out on July 25th.

I should note here that Christine is also mildly excited about the movie, but, seeing as she’s not usually as insanely fanboy-ish about stuff as I am…well, she’s not dying to see it as badly as I am. But, hey, that’s OK, I still love her.

And speaking of love, even non-fans of the original series have got to admit that “The X-Files” is totally responsible for many of the super cool TV shows that we all love so much today, I mean, seriously, do you think there would have ever been “Buffy” or “Angel” or hell, even “Lost” without “The X-Files”? Hell, no!

Series creator Chris Carter and company broke major ground with “The X-Files” and even though it lost focus a bit when David Duchovny left the show, Gillian Anderson held down the fort quite admirably for those last couple of seasons, so, rock on Agent Scully!

Story-wise, there is not much to report about the new movie yet, as, true to form, the producers are keeping the plot details of “The X-Files: I Want to Believe” a closely-guarded secret. But the online trailers do give you some rather juicy clips to look forward too. And when that classic “X-Files” theme kicks in, forget about it…goosebump city, baby!

Anyway, having watched/dissected the different trailers way too many times for my own good, I can tell you exactly three spoiler-free things about the upcoming “X-Files” sequel…

One, it takes place somewhere really cold and creepy looking. Two, Mulder and Scully act like they have not seen each other in a while, which is a bit odd considering how the series ended. And finally, three, the supporting cast — Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, etc. — looks really cool and yes, that is rapper Alvin “Xzibit” Jones playing an FBI agent. Wow…who knew?

Oh yeah, and the movie’s official website is finally up and running, so check out the trailers for yourself, read up on the cast and crew, add an “X-Files countdown widget” to your blog — I tried and it just looked weird — or if you’re like me, just keep checking the site every few hours to see when those sweet-ass desktop wallpapers are ready to download.

Whoa…did I just write that? Lord in heaven, I really am a geek…

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“Indiana Jones” @ the Arclight

After all the Indiana Jones build-up last week, you’d think I would have written at least something about the experience of seeing the actual movie by now, right? Well, as much as I’d like to say that I loved “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” so much that I’ve been busy hurrying back nightly to see it again…sadly, that is not the case, amigos.

The main reason I haven’t written about the movie yet is that there is practically no movie to write about. No there…there, so to speak. More of a preview for what I’m sure will be some very cool video games and theme park attractions than an actual movie, “Crystal Skull” is everything I hoped it would not be.

After the movie ended, while stumbling numbly to the parking lot…wait, I take that back, “numbly” would imply that we actually had emotional feelings about this crapfest, I think a better word would be indifferently. So, while stumbling indifferently back to our car I said to my brother: “Well, at least it wasn’t as bad as “The Phantom Menace”, right?”

Shaking his head, Ryan pointed out something surprisingly wise considering the late hour. He said that while “Menace” was a huge disappointment, it at least had the promise of two other movies to come. And, the artistic value of the subsequent “Star Wars” prequels aside, that is totally true.

I mean, love it or hate it, “Menace” did have Darth Maul and the fascinating — and up to that point, never before mentioned! — concept of midi-cloriens: the little unseen mystical thingies that make up the Force.

And not only did Anakin Skywalker have a buttload of said midi-cloriens flowing through his body, but it was even alluded to that the annoying little “chosen one” from Tatooine was born of the Force itself. Wow! Now that is cool idea. And though he tried really hard at every turn, even musty old George Lucas couldn’t make that shit boring!

Unfortunately, “Crystal Skull” has none of those elements. And worst of all, it is really, really slooooow. At least “Raiders” started out big with the whole imploding temple bit. And that rock rolling after Indy? Kind of an iconic moment! But this movie opens with a groan and just keeps getting worse as it goes…

Of course, there were a few bright spots. Karen Allen looked great and it was really awesome to see her in a movie again. I thought Cate Blanchett was entertaining and despite the hisses from the rest of our party at her vicious scenery-chomping, it was very clear to me that she was having fun. And, hello…isn’t the queen of doom and gloom Oscar-bait allowed to have a little summer movie fun now and then? That’s right, you rock that crazy “Rocky and Bullwinkle” Russian accent, chica!

Speaking of over-acting, John Hurt — who I usually love — is also very strange in this. But hey, the summer blockbuster brigade isn’t exactly pounding on his door all the time either, so I cut him some slack.

On a positive note, Shia LaBeouf’s character, “Mutt”, didn’t totally suck. His Marlon Brando routine was lame and the fact that he had his name embroidered on his leather jacket was, well…kinda gay, but LaBeouf’s a great actor, and his chemistry with Harrison Ford was pretty nifty too, so it worked.

And while Ford still managed to work some of that Indiana Jones magic in spots — particularly during a scene involving Allen’s character and some quicksand! — overall, he felt more like a cartoon character than a real man.

I know, I know, the series isn’t exactly realistic, give Dr. Jones a break. But hey, realistic or not, audiences made some pretty big leaps of faith in the earlier movies too…I mean, come on, do you think anyone but Indiana Jones could hang onto the top of a Nazi submarine all the way to a secret island hideout? Please. But we were so into the movie back then that we bought it!

That is not the case in “Crystal Skull”. Here, the leaps of faith just seem bigger and way too hard to swallow. I won’t spoil it for you by going into detail, but there are at least two things that Indiana Jones does in this movie that defy the laws of physics in such a huge way that the audience actually laughed. And no, it was not in a good way.

Anyway, love to hear what the rest of you thought of the movie, so comment away. In the meantime, enjoy these pics I took of some of the cool promo posters and props they had strewn about the lobby of the Arclight. I know it’s hard to tell from the picture, but those giant banners above were actually draped down the entire length of an office tower on Sunset, cool, huh?

So, my advice is that if you live in Los Angles and you’re itching to see “Crystal Skull” on the big screen, see it at the Arclight. That way if you totally hate the movie — which you will — you can drown your sorrows by snapping some fun pics of Mutt’s groovy motorcycle in the lobby on your way out.

Hell, it worked for me…

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